Mother's Day Limerick Writing Contest with Money Prizes

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted here. My apologies! I hope to be better about posting in the future.

I wanted to let you know I'm running a Mother's Day limerick writing contest over at one of my blogs. (Yes, I'm insane enough to have both a humor blog and a political humor blog.)

I sure hope some of you will consider entering. There's no entry fee and I'm offering money prizes.

Here's my Mother's Day limerick contest announcement post.

I hope to see some of you there. Thanks!

Mad Kane

MANAGED DIALOGUE?

Quote: “That is one of the mistakes a lot of people make — believing that uncensored speech is the most free, when in fact, managed civil dialogue is actually the freer speech.” --Tim O’Reilly, as quoted in the New York Times.

Quote: "My ass." -- Jeneane Sessum, as quoted in allied.

Vonnegut Dead at 84: You're Free, Uncle Kurt

From the NY Times:

Kurt Vonnegut, whose dark comic talent and urgent moral vision in novels like "Slaughterhouse-Five," "Cat's Cradle" and "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater" caught the temper of his times and the imagination of a generation, died last night in New York. He was 84 and had homes in New York and in Sagaponack on Long Island.

His death was reported by Morgan Entrekin, a longtime family friend, who said Vonnegut suffered brain injuries as a result of a fall several weeks ago.

Vonnegut wrote plays, essays and short fiction. But it was his novels that became classics of the American counterculture, making him a literary idol, particularly to students in the 1960s and '70s. Dog-eared paperback copies of his books could be found in the back pockets of blue jeans and in dorm rooms on campuses throughout the United States.

Like Mark Twain, Vonnegut used humor to tackle the basic questions of human existence: Why are we in this world? Is there a presiding figure to make sense of all this, a god who in the end, despite making people suffer, wishes them well?

He also shared with Twain a profound pessimism. "Mark Twain," Vonnegut wrote in his 1991 book, "Fates Worse Than Death: An Autobiographical Collage," "finally stopped laughing at his own agony and that of those around him. He denounced life on this planet as a crock. He died."

---

The conclusions you shared in A Man Without a Country scared the hell out of me.

I had taken a break from you after spending a good two decades-plus immersed in your words and, in blazing my own literary and activist trail, surveying, researching, exposing and trying to repair a broken world. Needed to expand my worldview and dive into new pools and explore other vistas. Just two months ago, I saw the book in a cafe/bookstore -- ironically your last book, it turned out, heh -- and was compelled to purchase it. Immediately read it cover to cover. And it terrified me.

Listen: At 82, the age you were during the writing, you concluded that we are beyond hope. We humans, consumed with greed and selfishness and a reckless disregard for other humans, have scarred the planet and the communal soul. The damage appears, no, is irrevocable, you wrote. So it goes.

Having those sentiments come from you, a scribe I have long revered and one in some sense I know intimately, did not surprise. What was stunning was that these conclusions are the very ones that have kept this progressive scribe mired in deep depression for nearly four years (and probably longer). I now am a relatively young, but regretfully old, 45. Imagine that.

So it goes.

Keeping on with writing and do-gooding and disseminating ideas, however hopeless the endeavor. Beats joining the Church of the Utterly Indifferent. Will try harder to savor the nice moments along the way; I'm toasting you right now with ice-cold southern sweet tea, and it is really nice. Another blessing: The libation serves as a bracing distraction from the searing pain of immeasurable loss. Call it liquid oxycontin. Yeah, sipping this tea is awfully nice.

And perhaps all hope is not lost. After all, something led me to pick up A Man Without a Country; the book's advice for coping with life in the midst of the world's insanity -- and perhaps the lesser craziness that is my own -- will be invaluable if I must endure another four decades.

Thanks for the long-ago slap in the face, that whap! of cold, hard truth. For the laughs. For Kilgore Trout. For catching Al Stewart's eye and making me take Twain more seriously.

Color me devastated and numb, but grateful and glad you are free of this hellhole.

And forgive me if, just for today, I ditch one piece of the wisdom you shared with a disillusioned and lonely girl via handwritten letter 35 years ago. OK, two: I used a semicolon. I have my reasons.


Love,
An 84-year-old man in the
body of a middle-aged woman

P.S. Damn you, you've left me with a question and now you must know the answer: Is death really the logical solution to any problem? Since neither you nor the late Samuel Clemons are here, I'll have to tackle that on my own. To wit: Some deaths -- for example, those of a baby, a newlywed, a just-certified doctor or Dana Reeve -- defy logic. Logical and inevitable are not synonyms. Sometimes, however, the two intersect. Goodbye, Blue Monday!

---

The following poem appears at the end of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s final book:

When the last living thing

has died on account of us,

how poetical it would be

if Earth could say,

in a voice floating up

perhaps

from the floor

of the Grand Canyon,

"It is done."

People did not like it here.

real women have....

Yes, I know. The expected subsequent word is "curves," and I was going to post about having an appointment tomorrow morning to sign up at "Curves for Women" so that I can get myself on an exercise program.

But that was before I checked over at a blog from Saudi Arabia written by an American woman who lives there. If you haven't found Sand Gets In My Eyes yet, you're missing out not only on some excellent writing, but even more important, on a perspective on that country that is both honest and personal.

Her post Is Phyllis Chesler Right? is infuriating because it's so honest, so correct (although not politically), and links over to an even more infuriating article in the Times Online by Chesler entitled How My Eyes Were Opened to the Barbarity of Islam.

Now, I have been a fan of Chesler since I read Women and Madness at a time in my life when I was both mad/angry and wondering if I were going mad/crazy. That book helped to launch me into the heart of feminism.

Just as I can't understand how savvy, smart women can tolerate the demeaning attitude toward them from the Catholic and other "Christian" churces, I have never been able to understand how anyone with an ounce of humanity in them keep finding excuses for the way women are treated in so many of the Islam-based cultures. I find it infuriating.

And so do Lori of Sand in My Eyes and Chesler of the long list of
publications challenging women to stand up and men to wake up.

I'm not going to quote from either of them here because both of their pieces (see third paragraph above for links) should be read whole.

I continue not to understand why the most "religious" people totally ignore the Golden Rule.

[cross-posted at Kalilily Time]

Melbourne's One Day Mini Conference is a week away

We are in the final stages of putting together the biggest mini conference in Brevard County - Five dynamic speakers will give presentations and let you into their worlds. These people are scribblers,biographers, novelists, essayists, bards, poets, columnists, journalists, writers, authors, editors, and publishers - some are a little bit of each, while others specialize in one or two areas - but they are all writers. And each one is preparing to share with you, his or her unique knowledge of the writing industry, and how it can impact your life in a personal way.

Our team of volunteers have been working diligently to provide a fantastic experience for you, on the beach! We'll have a delicious lunch, snacks, and some tremendous goodie bags as well as door prizes and some amazing and amusing surprises.

This is a one day conference, you won't want to miss. If you haven't yet registered, you'll want to print out the form below and mail it in quickly.

If you have any questions, please email writermary@gmail.com

Carnival Linkage

There are more carnivals than you can shake a stick at around the blogosphere, but I think the following will be worth the reading time of this blog's visitors. Scientiae Carnival #1 is over at Rants of a Feminist Engineer. It's a compilation of some thought-provoking posts on women in science and engineering.

Virginity Soap??!! WTF!!!

A blogger in Saudi Arabia tells of a scam that takes us back to the fantasies of men in the Middle Ages -- and in their middle ages -- when the virginity of their women was one of their prized possessions.

Read Lori's post in her blog, Sand Gets in My Eyes, where she reports:

According to Peaceful Muslimah, the soaps are indicative of a larger problem in the Middle East (and likely other parts of the world), where a woman’s virginity is her most important asset." Unfortunately in many Muslim societies, as well as non-Muslim underdeveloped nations, there is an extreme pressure brought to bear on women's chastity. As I recently discussed here, lack of chastity or even the perception of it can lead to fatal consequences. So is it any wonder that Muslim women are willing to go to extraordinary measures to maintain the appearance of the virginal bride on their honeymoon."

[snip]

I did some checking, and the soaps are readily available throughout the world, thanks in large part to the internet. The idea is that the soap’s astringents “constrict and tighten" , creating that coveted "look and feel" of virginity.

One manufacturer boasts their product is...."Used and enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of women in the Middle East and Asia, it has brought back youthful passions, rekindled sensual yearnings, and completely intensified sexual experience.”

Ha! What a lot of bunk!

Her entire post includes more links and info. It would be great if other Blog Sisters would post about this issue as well.

Cross posted at www.kalilily.net

WHO are we?

Dear Blog Sisters, Wanted to let you know, I claimed our page over on squidoo, and anyone who wants to can go over and edit the page -- ADD your bio, links to your other blogs and websites, the stuff you care about. Have at it! Let me know how it goes. Much love, your fearless leader.

Spirits dance

I walk through the landscape in my mind…it becomes a stroll through memories, past, present, and future...

...always he is there...waiting for me, beckoning...

And we connect yet again...never missing a step…as if we had never been apart…and where we meet, our spirits intersect...there is beauty, there is joy, there is some melancholy as well...

I realise that he never left...that we have always shared...that we always will...that we will meet again in the next lifetime..and, remember again...lifetime after lifetime.

There is no hiding from this, there never was...we just drifted like snows, like sands shifting in the desert...yet, like the snow melting that returns to the earth, like the sands that shift but remain part of the whole terrain forever – we never really leave each other…we remain tied to one another...through life, through other lovers, through lifetimes past, present and future...

Always...

Laughter and Chocolate

This picture makes me smile so much! It's my young son - laughing and covered in chocolate on holiday in Southern Spain.

I am pretty new to the world of blogging and this site.

I live in a small and beautiful village in England, and I think a few other countries like the U.S., Canada, France and Australia seem much more comfortable with this medium. I have been finding my way around, and trying to make sense of the links and blogrolls and all that la-di-da - what has intrigued me is the way women are linking up and talking about really important and personal issues. I guess that's no surprise, we're pretty fantastic at that, huh? - but what an amazing idea, that we can do that globally and easily without the barriers of distance, nationality, colour, race or cultures.

I'm married to an American, who wandered across to Europe for the obligatory trip in his twenties, and stayed 15 years! In 2003, I was a single Mum to a 3 year old boy , working full-time as a Director of HR for an animal welfare charity. I found the love of my life on the internet! We flew to meet each other after 17 days of emailing, and in 36 hours knew we had found our respective soul mate and decided to change our whole lives around to be together. It was at this point the irony of life kicked in ,and the company he was working for in Europe posted him back to the U.S. for 14 months... West Coast at that... It was mad, but fairy-tale stuff - all-day flights to get to Las Vegas for 30 hours to see each other and then fly back to take my son to school... and I HATE flying... and leaving my son! Luckily I had moved to my parent's village, so he was quite happy that I take off occasionally - time to be spoilt at the Grandparents!!

Now we're trying IVF, and I'm deep in injections and hormone hell.

There must be so many of you out there, thousands of miles away, juggling the same challenges that I am (and many of you juggling much, much more)...Sliding into work wondering if you remembered to put your child's spelling book in his bag whilst rushing off the next meeting....Fitting the weekly shopping around lunch breaks and trying to fit in a million priorities... Flopping down on a Friday night having "survived" another week!! Great that those moments can be shared in this way - some of the blogs I've stumbled across have been fantastic - funny, heart-wrenching, witty, sad, optimistic - sometimes all in the same blog!

So I wish you a day like the photo of my son - laughing and with plenty of chocolate!!

http://thechallengeoflife.blogspot.com

Random thoughts of interest

So we have all heard; if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, how do we know if it makes a sound....
Well if a blogger, blogs how do we know if there is someone out there reading if you don't post comments....
Now that I got your attention......
We blog for our sanity, therapy and to get feedback and help from our friends loved ones and anyone in an "ear-shot", but how do we get people to flock and respond....I have plenty to talk about and want to say...and I think the kindness- no i am counting the kindness of you kind sould to get me through the dark times, and the fun times....
I had a rough year last year with my dear friend dying, and life happening all around me while i stood there being numb, or trying to be, but it was a hard time to get through..and heck I am still getting through it. How can you get through a time like that.... I mean I got through it, but am more than still visibly shaken...
Then on to better time last year....right before that...finding true love. On March 5 to be exact, when the love of my life and I confessed our true feelings for one and other...completely and utterly out of the blue(I missed Resse Witherspoon exceptence speech on Oscar night, when the feelings where announced). And the winner is:....drum roll please.....ME! That was a thrilling and odd night to say the least..one that will be fun to tell the kids and the grandkids some day trust me...
Then this year I got to have a few highlights so far....The near completion of the remodeling of my apartment....meeting Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Dilana, and Toby Rand, and seeing (the ever so hot) Jenna Jameson *standing like 10 feet away* ..And all in the same night...the best part of this new year....Seeing my oldest and dearest friend that I haven't seen in 15 years at the same concert (SuperNova)..And it was so cool playing catch up and seeing her Sister and their husbands, it was surreal for sure..And yet it was like no time had passed at all.
the next stop for this year - My man comes home next month...I can't wait.
the furture is wide open and just waiting. And I am waiting to, for you my viewers. Let's play catch up...and talk and get to know one another. Share the good the bad and the ugly.
so please let me know your out...
Heck throw out a topic and let's see what trouble we get into.....
catch ya on the flip side...

not keeping up with the Joneses

It's no surprise that while visiting in Massachusetts, I went to the shopping mall with my daughter and grandson. He had taken some money out of his piggy bank to buy himself a toy. And, of course, I had planned to subsidize some additional treat.

As we three strolled down the main mallway, we were accosted by a jovial gentleman with a microphone followed by a quiet guy with a news station videocamera. At first, I wasn't going to stop and be interviewed, but when my daughter heard that the interviewer was looking for a family of three generations, she opted to talk to him. And so I agreed to join in.

"You've heard of 'keeping up with the Joneses', haven't you," he asked and then proceeded to explain that he was interviewing people about how much they buy into that concept. And he was wondering how that changed over the generations.

I went first, explaining that, because my parents had been upwardly mobile and my mother very conscious of what she had in comparison to others, I rebelled against the stress of that lifestyle, opting to go into education -- which really doesn't pay that well. I think I said that I started out as a teacher because I wanted to contribute something to the world. While there was some truth to everything that cam e out of my mouth in that spur-of-the-moment monologue, the rest of the truths are even more relevent. But I never got a chance to get into all of that. So, instead, I sounded like a poster mom for "family values." If you read my blog, you know that I'm a far cry from that.

My daughter's brief statements also reflected only part of her truths. She said that she left the workforce to stay home and raise her son; that it was hard living on one income, but she felt it was worth it. All of that is true.

What neither of has had a chance to say, however, was that we were never interested in "keeping up with the Joneses" because we began our adult lives being more interested in following our dreams than making a lot of money -- her dream being acting and mine being writing. Ultimately, as it turned out, we chose lives that center around the people we love. I guess we are just not competitive enough to have gotten sucked into that "keeping up" rat race.

Relative to all of that, I recently read an article in The Week stating:

A growing number of new mothers are quitting their jobs to devote their full-time attention to their children. Is the traditional family making a comeback?

The article also includes these statements:

A growing number of companies are offering to let moms telecommute or work flexible hours to avoid losing them altogether. If employers had done this earlier, they might have avoided their current jam, says Joan Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California, Hastings. Most mothers would prefer to keep working, she said, but are “pushed out by workplace inflexibility, the lack of supports, and a workplace bias against mothers.” In a recent survey, 86 percent of women said obstacles such as inflexible hours were key reasons behind their decisions to leave.

and

“At the height of the women’s movement and shortly thereafter, women were much more firm in their expectation that they could somehow combine full-time work with child rearing,” said Yale historian Cynthia Russett. “The women today are, in effect, turning realistic.”

As a single mother, I had no choice but to work. My daughter has a choice, and I have a feeling that her experiences growing up under my roof contributed a great deal to her making the one she has. And I think she made the right one.

(Cross-posted at Kalilily Time)

Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice

A blessed Solstice to you all!

the anti-woman new Wicker Man

I saw the original Wicker Man in the mid-seventies. It was by far the most gut-clenching film I've ever seen. From here:

The Wicker Man is a cult 1973 British film combining thriller, horror and musical, directed by Robin Hardy and written by Anthony Shaffer. The film stars Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Diane Cilento, Ingrid Pitt and Britt Ekland. Paul Giovanni composed the soundtrack, a recording cited as a major influence on neofolk and psych folk artists.

The original Wicker Man film focused on an island population of pagans that included both men and women -- all of whom were engaged in determining what was to befall the "hero." I remember that the film was steeped in a ancient eroticism as the island population struggled to find their balance between all of those natural forces of opposites.

The new Wicker Man is devoid of male-female tension and eroticism of any kind; the pagan population is totally female (except for a few drones). The new version attributes only to women the chthonic spirit that the original movie rightly attributed to all people who followed the pagan ways. The unspoken message to us in these times is "watch out when those women take over" especially those females who find personal strength in the mythic histories of their gender. They are dangerous. They will destroy you.

The primal darkness in all of us is a powerful and dangerous force. The original Wicker Man captured that terrifying power. The new Wicker Man is a weakened and distorted version of what was once a truly horrifying tale.

(Side note: The star of the original Wicker Man was Edward Woodward. In the new version, the name of the "hero" is Edward Woodward.)

I don't know if you can rent the 1970s Wicker Man, but you can buy it here.

It's worth the price.

(cross posted at www.kalilily.net)

The Writer Ratio

People's perceptions of who reads what are definitely skewed. But what about authors on the publishing end? Do authors self-segregate into particular genres or do editors have some say in what kind of author get published?

I came across the Broad Universe Bean Count which has some very interesting statistics on how many women and men are published in the speculative fiction field. Of course, compared to the romance genre (where most men still work under pseudonyms or with female co-authors), science fiction and fantasy appears to be a bastillion of equality. But nonetheless, the numbers aren't that great. It's true that over the years, the percentage of women winning awards has gone up, but for most of them, the split is still not fifty-fifty.

Some other observations: Male reviewers prefer to review books authored by other males. The majority of stories in anthologies of speculative fiction are by male authors. However, is it possible that this is also a function of how many female speculative fiction writers are present in the first place? The membership of SFWA is not an accurate indicator of how many writers there are--you have to get published first before you can be a member. But according to Strange Horizons, about a third of their submissions were from female writers. I am very curious as to whether this is true or the exception compared to submission statistics to other magazines, agents, and editors.

And another question: Does the sex of the authors also influence what kind of readers are drawn to a genre? With the quality of writing being equal as well as the male/female ratio of writers in whatever genre--would this equalize the readership as well? Or will people still be too hung up on convention and formula to read a book for the story?

(Cross-posted at Syaffolee.)

The Museum of Kitschy Stitches

If you're searching for the perfect holiday gift, if you're having friends over a lot in the coming weeks and want a great conversation-starter, or if you just need to laugh until you're wetting your pants, check out The Museum of Kitschy Stitches: A Gallery of Notorious Knits, by Stitchy McYarnpants. Stitchy is the nom de plume of a Boston-area woman who likes to collect supremely tacky old knitting and crocheting patterns (mainly from the '60s and 70s). She illustrates a few dozen of them along with hilarious commentary in this book.

I saw her a couple of months ago at the local Barnes and Noble, where she was doing a booksigning. She'd brought along a trunkful of hideous creations collected from yard sales and ebay. I bought the book, and it's been generating an evening-ful of reminiscences every time someone has spotted it. At a book discussion I hosted last month, we spent more time discussing this than the book we'd all read. I brought it on a business trip recently and showed it to a female colleague in our hotel room. She insisted I take it to a dinner party hosted in the CEO's home to show his wife. It pretty nearly took over the whole evening.

Stitchy has a website: http://www.stitchymcyarnpants.com/
and I posted a blog entry about her booksignings, which has some pictures of Stitchy and of the treasures in her trunk: http://cicilycorbett.blogspot.com/2006/09/stitchy-mcyarnpants.html.

RAD

It's fall, colleges are back in session, and RAD classes are starting up all over. RAD (Rape Assault Defense) is a comprehensive self-defense course for women. The course teaches awareness, prevention, risk reduction and avoidance of dangerous situations, usually with hands-on training. A typical class lasts for five sessions and costs about $5 per session.

RAD is designed for women of all ages and levels of physical conditioning. Mothers frequently attend with their daughters; elderly women living alone attend. High-school and college women concerned about date rape attend. Women learn to recognize dangerous situations, and learn how to handle them. They engage in realistic scenarios with the instructors, practicing defense techniques. The education and experience give them power and confidence.

Classes are held in community centers, YMCAs, on college campuses, and so on. My state alone has dozens of locations. Classes are also offered for children and for men. To learn more about the program, or to locate a nearby center, visit www.rad-systems.com.

Nerve

I've been a member of Blog Sisters for quite some time and have enjoyed reading all of you but this is my first post. It's a double post from my blog today and I apologize in advance for that - I just felt like I wanted to vent to other women - to other mamas - in hopes of finding some good ol' female empowerment and support.

What better place than here?

**********

Over the last few weeks, I've been asked for updates on my "baby making" status. I anticipated this but have been surprised by how quickly I've grown tired of responding. I am now kicking myself for ever publicizing (in blog or casual conversation) that my husband and I are actively trying.

Update - I am not pregnant.

However, if mine and my husband's schedules ever synchronize and I become less stressed, I have confidence that it will happen for us.

The second irritating factor to this whole topic are the comments I have received from several people along the lines of:

Well, you're not 16 anymore....your body isn't going to just snap back the way it did!

[Really? I'm impressed that you think it "snapped back" at all.]

At your age, I bet you'll find that you have to really work to get the weight off this time.

[Well, then my four years as a certified personal trainer and nutritionist will come in handy.]

The sad fact is that my first response is to defend such statements with, "Actually, women on both my mom and my dad's side of the family have had children in their mid to late 30's and managed to recover their figure with little effort; genetically, most of us have nice shapes."

What I really want to respond with is, "Why is this even a discussion that you find important and appropriate to broach?"

I will openly admit to a level of vanity - one that I now consider to be fairly healthy. As a little girl, the way I looked drew a lot more attention than the grades I made or the way I behaved. Consequently, I learned to value this aspect of myself over others for a long time. Fortunately for me, however, I have since had numerous humbling experiences - to include childbirth - which have put things in a more balanced perspective.

In fact, when I posted a few months ago about my anxiety over trying to conceive, my body image was not among my concerns. I have no idea why others deem it as noteworthy.

Update - Should I get pregnant, I may gain a few pounds that, this time, don't come right off.

So fucking what.

If you REALLY want to send me into panic mode, remind me about how kids can wreck a home faster than a tornado.....

I'm far more obsessed with how my house looks than I am my ass.

strep n fetch it.

One of the things Jenna brought back on the plane was strep. soooo that's what I've been up to the last couple of days. Fetching tissues for her to spit in and tissues for noses and wet washcloths for skin that she says feels soooo hot mommy. And soup too. Don't forget the vegetable beef soup.

Amazing Omnicef. She's bopping around today, getting back to herself quickly, though nebby treatments have begun. Looks like ENT-ville again and the tonsil discussion. I hear it's outpatient these days, which is awesome. I remember going in the night before, then being wheeled into the OR and telling the surgeon I was going to throw up as soon as I smelled that ether. They said no you aren't; it just smells. I said yes I am, and I puked all over the operating table. They freaked out and sent me home. I had to go back to kindergarten WITH my tonsils and fess up to throwing up. A few weeks later we tried again. This time, no puking and byebye tonsils.

I'm hoping better things for jenna, like no problems if it has to be, and lots of ice cream. Please don't tell her that you really don't care about ice cream when they finally get around to giving it to you.

Tags: strep, tonsilitis, tired mom, parenting, kids = Powered by Qumana

how did we miss this??

Frank Paynter posted about it, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't pick up on the implications until I read what he wrote. He begins his post with this:

This post is not about the grim and twisted irony of the violence of a school shooting in Amish country. Rather, I want to draw attention to the unspoken horror of the misogyny, the hate crime against the female gender that it represents.

Frank links to several female bloggers who posted vehemently and accurately about what seems to be an increasing number of hate crimes against females. He ends his post with this:

Misogyny is everywhere. It’s in the burka. It’s in the genital mutilation of so-called “female circumcision.” It’s in the Chinese infanticide of baby girls. It’s practically a human condition. Yet once slavery was a human condition too, and now, except for a few corporate monsters, some backwards nations, and the perversion of sexual slavery it has largely been wiped out. Can we make progress against misogyny too?

I wonder why we aren't all posting about how the status and safety of all of us females is consistently being eroded. Why aren't we mad as hell.