Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Random thoughts of interest

So we have all heard; if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, how do we know if it makes a sound....
Well if a blogger, blogs how do we know if there is someone out there reading if you don't post comments....
Now that I got your attention......
We blog for our sanity, therapy and to get feedback and help from our friends loved ones and anyone in an "ear-shot", but how do we get people to flock and respond....I have plenty to talk about and want to say...and I think the kindness- no i am counting the kindness of you kind sould to get me through the dark times, and the fun times....
I had a rough year last year with my dear friend dying, and life happening all around me while i stood there being numb, or trying to be, but it was a hard time to get through..and heck I am still getting through it. How can you get through a time like that.... I mean I got through it, but am more than still visibly shaken...
Then on to better time last year....right before that...finding true love. On March 5 to be exact, when the love of my life and I confessed our true feelings for one and other...completely and utterly out of the blue(I missed Resse Witherspoon exceptence speech on Oscar night, when the feelings where announced). And the winner is:....drum roll please.....ME! That was a thrilling and odd night to say the least..one that will be fun to tell the kids and the grandkids some day trust me...
Then this year I got to have a few highlights so far....The near completion of the remodeling of my apartment....meeting Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Dilana, and Toby Rand, and seeing (the ever so hot) Jenna Jameson *standing like 10 feet away* ..And all in the same night...the best part of this new year....Seeing my oldest and dearest friend that I haven't seen in 15 years at the same concert (SuperNova)..And it was so cool playing catch up and seeing her Sister and their husbands, it was surreal for sure..And yet it was like no time had passed at all.
the next stop for this year - My man comes home next month...I can't wait.
the furture is wide open and just waiting. And I am waiting to, for you my viewers. Let's play catch up...and talk and get to know one another. Share the good the bad and the ugly.
so please let me know your out...
Heck throw out a topic and let's see what trouble we get into.....
catch ya on the flip side...

Sunday, January 28, 2007

not keeping up with the Joneses

It's no surprise that while visiting in Massachusetts, I went to the shopping mall with my daughter and grandson. He had taken some money out of his piggy bank to buy himself a toy. And, of course, I had planned to subsidize some additional treat.

As we three strolled down the main mallway, we were accosted by a jovial gentleman with a microphone followed by a quiet guy with a news station videocamera. At first, I wasn't going to stop and be interviewed, but when my daughter heard that the interviewer was looking for a family of three generations, she opted to talk to him. And so I agreed to join in.

"You've heard of 'keeping up with the Joneses', haven't you," he asked and then proceeded to explain that he was interviewing people about how much they buy into that concept. And he was wondering how that changed over the generations.

I went first, explaining that, because my parents had been upwardly mobile and my mother very conscious of what she had in comparison to others, I rebelled against the stress of that lifestyle, opting to go into education -- which really doesn't pay that well. I think I said that I started out as a teacher because I wanted to contribute something to the world. While there was some truth to everything that cam e out of my mouth in that spur-of-the-moment monologue, the rest of the truths are even more relevent. But I never got a chance to get into all of that. So, instead, I sounded like a poster mom for "family values." If you read my blog, you know that I'm a far cry from that.

My daughter's brief statements also reflected only part of her truths. She said that she left the workforce to stay home and raise her son; that it was hard living on one income, but she felt it was worth it. All of that is true.

What neither of has had a chance to say, however, was that we were never interested in "keeping up with the Joneses" because we began our adult lives being more interested in following our dreams than making a lot of money -- her dream being acting and mine being writing. Ultimately, as it turned out, we chose lives that center around the people we love. I guess we are just not competitive enough to have gotten sucked into that "keeping up" rat race.

Relative to all of that, I recently read an article in The Week stating:

A growing number of new mothers are quitting their jobs to devote their full-time attention to their children. Is the traditional family making a comeback?

The article also includes these statements:

A growing number of companies are offering to let moms telecommute or work flexible hours to avoid losing them altogether. If employers had done this earlier, they might have avoided their current jam, says Joan Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California, Hastings. Most mothers would prefer to keep working, she said, but are “pushed out by workplace inflexibility, the lack of supports, and a workplace bias against mothers.” In a recent survey, 86 percent of women said obstacles such as inflexible hours were key reasons behind their decisions to leave.


“At the height of the women’s movement and shortly thereafter, women were much more firm in their expectation that they could somehow combine full-time work with child rearing,” said Yale historian Cynthia Russett. “The women today are, in effect, turning realistic.”

As a single mother, I had no choice but to work. My daughter has a choice, and I have a feeling that her experiences growing up under my roof contributed a great deal to her making the one she has. And I think she made the right one.

(Cross-posted at Kalilily Time)