To Know Know Know You, Is To Love Love Love You

I was trying to explain the two French words "savoir" and "connaitre" to someone the other day. Both of them mean "to know" but if you speak any French, you are aware that these two words come at knowledge from completely different directions. The verb "savoir" to know, shares the same root as words like savant and scientist and could be called the "knowing" of scientific knowledge. The French "Je ne sais pas" which means "I don't know" is from savoir. The verb "connaitre" gives us the word "connaisseur" and the notion of an "acquaintance" and has a sense of bodily knowing, or knowing through love or appreciation. If I asked in French if you knew Jean-Jacques, I would use the verb, "connaitre," The wine connaisseur is not a "just give me the facts, m'am" kindof guy, but rather someone who can appreciate and gain knowledge by sensual connection. How the heck the English language lost this richness, which romance languages take for granted, is a mystery. Or maybe not.

I was also trying to describe once to a man how it felt to be in my house, in my kitchen, washing dishes and simultaneously "knowing" the mood of my busy toddler on the floor — very happy — the tenseness of my husband upstairs rummaging around his office looking for something he'd misplaced — his abrupt stops and starts and heavy foot fall indicating his frustration — the weather on the cusp of spring and all the anticipation in budding trees and eager animals losing their winter coats, birds renesting — the feeling of the running water beginning to lose heat because I'd been standing there too long and the watertank couldn't handle it, the thought that pasta with asparagus was a perfect thing for dinner and the slight tug at my womb knowing my period was a little late and what the hell this might mean for the current family scene, and last but not least recalling we needed to deposit a check to avoid getting overdrawn, experiencing all of this knowledge in the blink of an eye — on a regular basis. Feeling/Knowing/Intuiting all of this at once — thy name is woman.

You can bet on Balderama
Jennifer Balderama is a well-respected writer in blog circles and as copy chief at CNET News. Check out her very timely and very articulate post on her own weblog that begins "Let's talk about sex."

Claire Braz-Valentine reponds:
Here is her response to my email to her, and I'm glad she responded because there's no indication anywhere I saw that this is a poem.

Thought you might want to post the poem with proper line breaks. Many versions are going around the internet. This is the correct format.
If you access the homepage below you can hear me read it.
Thanks,
claire

AN OPEN LETTER TO JOHN ASCROFT, ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

On January 28, 2002, Attorney General John Ashcroft, announced that he spent $8000 of taxpayer’s money for drapes to cover up the exposed breast of The Spirit of Justice, an 18ft aluminum statue of a woman that stands in the Hall of Justice.

John, John, John,
you’ve got your priorities all wrong.
While men fly airplanes into skyscrapers,
dive bomb the pentagon,
while they stick explosives into their shoes,
and then book a seat right next to us,
while they hide knives in their luggage,
steal kids on school buses,
take little girls from their beds at night
drive trucks into our state capital buildings,
while our president calls dangerous men all over the world
evildoers and devils,
while we live in the threat of biological warfare
nuclear destruction,
annihilation,
you are out buying yardage
to save Americans
from the appalling
alarming, abominable
aluminum alloy of evil,
that terrible ten foot tin tittie.
You might not be able to find Bin Laden
But you sure as hell found the hooter in the hall of justice.

It’s not that we aren’t grateful
But while we were begging the women of Afghanistan
To not cover up their faces
You are begging your staff members to
Just cover up that nipple
To save the American people
From that monstrous metal mammary
How can we ever thank you?

So, in your office every morning
in your secret prayer meeting.
while an American woman is sexually assaulted every 6 seconds
while anthrax floats around the post office
and settles in the chest of senior citizens,
you’ve got another chest on your mind.
While American sons arrive home in body bags
and heat seeking missiles
fly around a foreign country
looking for any warm body
you think of another body.
And you pray for the biggest bra in the world John
because you see that breast on the spirit of justice
in the spirit of your
own inhibited sexuality.
And when we women see
our grandmothers, our mothers, our daughters, our granddaughters,
our sisters, ourselves,
when we women see that
statue the spirit of justice
we see the spirit of strength
the spirit of survival.
While every day
we view innocent bodies dragged out of rubble
and women and children laid out
like thin limp dolls
and baptized into death as collateral damage
and the hollow eyed Afghani mother’s milk has dried
up underneath her burka
in famine in shame
and her children are dead at her breast.

While you look at that breast John
that jug on the spirit of justice
and deal with your thoughts of lust
and sex and nakedness
we see it as a testimony motherhood
And you see it as a tit.

It’s not the money it cost.
It’s the message you send.
We’ve got the right to live in freedom.
We got the right to cheat Americans out
of millions of dollars and then
just not want to tell congress about it.
We’ve got the right
to drop bombs night and day
on a small country that has no army,
no navy, no military at all,
because we’ve got the right to bear arms
but we just better not even think
about not the right to bare breasts.
So now John you can be photographed
while you stand there and talk about
guns and bombs and poisons
without the breast appearing over your right shoulder
without that bodacious bosom bothering you
and we just wanted to tell you
in the spirit of justice
in the spirit of truth
John
there is still one very big boob left standing there in that picture.

Claire Braz-Valentine

http://homepage.mac.com/clairebraz/

Three Months Young and We Are Kicking Some Ass

Can I just stop here for a minute. Okay. good. You know what? Blog Sisters just passed its three-month anniversary May 24, and that means I get to take a second to say holy cow. Look at the ground we've covered as a collective group of women's voices. Look at what this place has become. I am so thrilled and honored to be among the voices who have made this blog their second home.

Elaine and I must have received four requests from women looking to join over the last week--it's like that most weeks. We're growing and learning and reading and talking, and it is just the most wonderous thing to me. I can't believe I actually woke up with an idea in the middle of the night that WORKED! And, dear President Elaine, I couldn't do it without ya. Anyone who hasn't read Frank Paynter's interview with Elaine (details two posts down), should get over there and see what makes this Lady tick.

So that's all. I just had a little tear in my eye (that wasn't related to my sinus infection) and had to share. Kiss kiss ladies!

-jeneane

Interesting, long life

Mildred Wirt Benson, who wrote the Nancy Drew books under the pen name Carolyn Keene, has died at age 96. Here is the New York Times story.

My sister & I loved our well-worn copies of those books!

I'm either very brave or very stupid.
Last week, over a series of e-mails, Frank Paynter interviewed me, and everything I told him is now out there for the whole world to read. (Or at least the whole world who read his weblog.) He asked me, and I told him. The truth. Just about all of it. I hope that I won't be sorry. (I told my kids that they can disown me if they want to.)

the google referrers

There is no end to the fun of checking the site meter at the bottom of this blog to see what people "search up" on google that brings them here. Today's favorite:

pictures of women shrinking men and eating them

heh.

Sarah Fisher Finishes At Indy!

She's a serious contender in the IRL. She's been blogging for ABC. And today she's some quarter-million dollars richer after crossing the finish line for the first time at the Indy 500. Congratulations, Sarah! If you're interested in women speed demons and other tidbits about today's race, Bag and Baggage has more.

Here's my Porn is Fake graphic:


I also have this merch, which I'm not charging a profit one. Just the base manufacture price. Already got a BBQ apron for my SO :D

admin

Hey ladies. A couple of administrative notes. First, I added a site meter to the bottom of this blog. Thanks to Halley for telling me how! Also, Elaine and I were throwing around a couple of ideas about burning issues for June. But nothing has bubbled to the top. Any ideas? Please leave a post or comment. Have a relaxing weekend!

jeneane

I really dig Dervala
So does Tom Shurgart, who cited a very revealing "guide for male supervisors adapting to the influx of women workers during World War II" that Dervala discovered. Well, some things have changed, I guess. These days, Dervala is awfully busy, so there's no time to jump into our gangblog. But check her out anyway. And Tom's a good guy. You might want to take a peek at his blog too and read his current post on "Passion and Envy" -- about his appreciation of the passion that his wife feels for her therapist vocation.

Porn's Fake -- Girls are Real

Make your own fake pornography pages!
These women aren't necessarily anti-porn, but are definitely dismayed by the sheer proliferation of it on the internet. What I appreciate is their plan of action. Just wish they wouldn't call women "girls". O vell.

Re: the Rapist Blogger

There are pretty clear guidelines listed in the Blog*Spot terms of service, and I think, Elaine, what you brought up clearly violates this one:

You agree to not use the Service to:
(a) upload, post or otherwise transmit any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;

Violations can be reported to admin@pyra.com, so Elaine, report that jerk! Unfortunately, we can't completely silence the bastard, but at least we can make it a little bit harder to display his disgusting, inhuman vitriol.

Something else we can do, in a bigger way, is encourage young women to educate themselves about ways to prevent being victimized like this. Date rape is the most common kind of rape, but there are ways to avoid it if a woman is sensible and knows how to protect herself. My dad has a background in law enforcement, and when I got to a certain age, he made sure to teach me a few things, like how to get your arm back if someone grabs you by the wrist, no matter how hard or what way they grip it, or what to do if someone tries to force a kiss (bite down hard, on their lip, until you've bitten all the way through-- grim, but effective).

Is there anything we can do?
A non-Blog Sister blogger asked me if there's anything that can be done to get a misogynist asshole banned from Blogspot. (I had linked to him, but then took Shelley's advice and took the link out.) As this woman emailed me, The article - GUIDE TO RAPE DRUGS FOR POTENTIAL RAPISTS is absolutely disgusting and I'd like to see this guy lose his account at the very least.

I understand the First Amendment, but can we band together and contact Ev about what hateful and dangerous stuff this guy is putting on his blogspot site? Are there guidelines for Blogger and Blogspot? Please, comment here. What can we do? Anything?

Here's how the article starts:
The internet is a wonderful thing. The hype is true...we are creating a global community here. I am proud of this and I am aware that to ignore the advantages of the information age would be socially irresponsible. I know there are many of you out there who could be rapists, but are not brash enough to get a rape kit together and grab a woman off the streets. Some of you are too timid to even commit the most enjoyable kind of rape: Date Rape. I am sure RAPE DRUGS are for you. If this post results in just ONE woman getting raped, than my work is done. Without further ado, here is my guide to rape drugs.

And then he goes on to give just the information he promised -- in detail. *Retch* Isn't there some way we cut off his virtual balls?

Frank Paynter resurrects my AHA!
(This is a double post; it's on my site as well. Just wanted to make sure you didn't miss it!)

Back in the early feminist seventies, we were all having AHAs! -- that was how one women writer back then (who, of course, I can't remember where or when) described the moment when we realized what had been holding us back, what had been making us angry. In the course of his e-mail interviews with me, Frank Paynter unearths the Ms. Magazine article that changed my life. My AHA! Read it here.

I had a chance to actually meet Lilly Rivlin, who wrote the article, several years ago when some of us who had contributed to Which Lilith: Feminists Writers Re-Create the First Woman -- including the editors -- gathered in a theater in Kinderhook, NY to read our pieces. What a phenomenal woman! We hugged a lot, cried a little, she gave me her card and then we each went off in our own direction to follow our chosen paths. But I've never forgotten her or how her words changed my life.

Why men behave badly
According to this very interesting study (what would we do without them?), women who want to know if their men will stray, should check out their testosterone levels.

Imagine this conversation:

Wife: Are you cheating on me?

Man: Of course, not darling, I don't even look at other women any more.

Wife: I feel you've lost interest these days...

Man: Oh darling, it's just that there's so much on my mind these days... And then there's the kids, paying the bills, bringing home the bacon, blah..blah..blah...

This could actually be a valid excuse!

"Scientists at Harvard University have discovered that married men who spend time with their family have lower testosterone levels than bachelors." - Read it here.

So if the husband feigns a headache and looks tired and uninterested, you know what to blame - marriage and the kids! Don't say we didn't warn you now!

There is a Goddess

Seems like the new book "Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children" -- which warns women that having a career first could leave them childless and miserable in middle age -- the book just isn't selling. Which is remarkable, considering it was hyped on Oprah, Time magazine, GMA, 60 Minutes ... Are women rejecting this tripe once and for all? It;'s only #430 on the Amazon top-sellers list; nowhere on the NYT bestseller list.

Double standards?
When men are unfaithful or lust after other women (even while they are in a steady or satisfactory relationship) it is just an extension of their sexuality.

"While they can control themselves through social and emotional restraints, it is considered "normal" for men to desire a number of women."

On the other hand, when women are unfaithful, then they need a good reason - like an unfulfilling marriage or a bad relationship.

"The feminist solution has been to argue that women simply cheat for the "right" reasons -- be it sexual or emotional freedom. This in turn implies that the most widely acknowledged cause for male adultery -- the desire for variety -- is simply "wrong"... When we claim women cheat for "better" reasons, we are being unfair, though less to men than to women. Beneath this celebratory rhetoric is an archaic and repressive vision of female sexuality. Implicit in this type of reasoning is the idea that married women have to provide worthy motives for straying -- be it emancipation or love."

Read the whole feature here.

Getting Girls Behind the Wheel

For some reason, I was watching WE (I don't normally watch "women's" networks, because I'm too eclectic and I just need a good dose of the Man Show or something every now and then), and they have this program called "Cool Women." This particular episode struck close to home as they featured Dawn Riley, a woman to participate in the first co-ed America's Cup team (for non-sailing people, the America's Cup is a big deal sailing race). Definitely a cool woman, who really loves sailing (after my own heart!).

Even cooler, I notice that a foundation she runs, called America True, has a program for girls to teach them about sailing tall ships. Oooh! I drool in envy. I'm definitely going to have to find something to sail this summer. It's been too long.

Lovely Paintings

NancyCentral | The Paintings and Drawings of Nancy Spoelhof
I ran into an exhibition of this woman's work at the Momi Toby cafe in Hayes Valley, SF, CA.