Important facts: Why We Need TBIO
Thanks, Sheri, for pointing us to that Turn Beauty Inside Out campaign. Here are some "shocking facts" I got off their site.
-- Eighty percent of 10-year-old American girls diet.
-- Girls are disproportionately affected by eating disorders and cultural demands for thinness.
-- More than five million Americans suffer from eating disorders.
·-- Ninety percent of those afflicted with eating disorders are adolescent and young adult women.
-- Fifteen percent of young girls have substantially disordered eating attitudes.
-- Between elementary and high school, the percentage of girls in the U.S. who are "happy with the way I am" drops from 60% to 29%.
-- The number one magic wish for young girls age 11-17 is to be thinner.
-- Millions of young girls, influenced by a culture that equates success and happiness with thinness, begin dieting to be accepted. (all the above statistics from The Body Image Project at www.justthink.org)
-- Between 1996 and 1998, teenage cosmetic surgeries nearly doubled from 13,699 to 24,623, according to the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons. www.newswecanuse.com
-- Thirty-nine percent of women in film are portrayed as “thin” or “very thin.” www.childrennow.org
-- At least 58% of women in the movies make or receive comments about their appearance. www.childrennow.org
-- In movies, 31% of women are shown primping, grooming, or otherwise fixated on their appearance, where only 7% of men are shown doing this. www.childrennow.org
-- Girls and women are underrepresented in movies. Only 37% of all movie roles are for girls or women. www.childrennow.org

I believe that we BlogSisters can serve as role models for girls of all ages who need support in going against the flow of the images of what females "should" be presented by commercial world. I would like to suggest that BlogSisters join the campaign in some way. Maybe on May 15 we each can post about TBIO and link to the site. And also put some kind of major announcement on this site. Any other suggestions? (I don't know how to import graphics into here, but maybe one of our more talented sisters could design something we can feature on May 15? Just a suggestion. What do you all think?)

Turn Beauty Inside Out Day

View from the Pocket
Girls Take on Hollywood by Declaring May 15th as "Turn Beauty Inside Out Day"

"New Moon (Magazine) wanted to show the world that we had a different definition of beautiful in mind," explains Ruth Young, a 12-year-old member of the board. "Beautiful means being caring, kind, outgoing, [a] dream achiever, and living for yourself. Basically, it means being a strong and beautiful girl on the inside."

Hello Blog Sisters
I just spent the last hour reading the first day of posts and comments here. WOW, I'm impressed. I found out about BlogSisters through Elaine. The only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't find you gals sooner. I read a post that referred to Heather loosing her job because of her blog. Heather has signed off from dooce.com; as of April 22 she will no longer be blogging under her real name. She said her site had caused too much damage to her personal relationships. In the last couple of months I have been communicating with people I've never met in "real life", and in some ways I've shared more of myself online then I do with my "real life" friends. Maybe it's not that I've shared more as it is that I've shared different things. The internet is a great place to toss around ideas, concepts, theories, and even try on new ones to see if they fit. When I first started blogging in November of last year, I didn't tell anyone about it, including my lover. I did a lot of blogging about the ups and downs of my relationship. Now in hindsight, I think I should have been much more straightforward with my lover. Oh sure we all need a private [wine] now and then, but I was over the top. You might say, how over the top? I'm really an introvert, and blogging was kind of like discovering how the other half lives. I'm rambling; it's getting into happy hour, so I'm off. WAAAaait this is where I ramble semi regularly.

did I mention....

...that the reporter described blogsisters this way: "somewhat of an "Oprah Online" blog, where women communicate on a variety of topics, from current events to personal health to the latest fashions."

why didn't he just say "hygiene."

hmph again.

(oprah online? will this boost our google search results?)

dumbing us down

I was doing my latest vanity search (on my name, on google, you know), when I came across a recent blogging article by E. Michael Rudman, and... WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? We're mentioned! That's the good news. And it really is good news--I appreciate the reporter taking note of us.

The bad news was... of all the posts he picked to focus on was... well... you'll see. I mean, we've discussed some heavy shit here, and wouldn't ya know a male reporter would "position us" in our first online reference, with one blast of the keyboard, as ladies who talk about fashion.

exasperated.

Well, as I said, let's look at the silver lining. People are reading what we're writing here--what YOU guys are writing here--and that's always refreshing to know. More women are asking to join every week, and that's totally exciting. Still.... maternity fashion... over the posts about dealing with our own mothers... alcoholism... the middle east... hmph. Let's all have a tea party and relish our five seconds of fame (she says with a wink).

j.

Time to get my pyramid-building pants out of storage.

I'm not too crazy about a periodical that promotes books by my arch-nemesis, Peggy Noonan. However, and whatever the motivation for this, the NRO has published the following article: Primary Document | Saudi Telethon Host Calls for Enslaving Jewish Women. In it, "prominent government official cleric" Shaikh Saad Al-Buraik is quoted as saying (I added the italics),

Muslim Brothers in Palestine, do not have any mercy neither compassion on the Jews, their blood, their money, their flesh. Their women are yours to take, legitimately. God made them yours. Why don't you enslave their women? Why don't you wage jihad? Why don't you pillage them?

Al-Buraik also happens to be accompanying Prince Abdullah in his visit to the U.S.

I wonder if he might be that elusive "someone" who requested that no women direct the Prince's flight into Texas earlier this week.

Mechanics and tigers and bears, oh my!

This is my very first Blog Sisters post, so please bear with me...

Just experienced a classic, "You're just a girl so shut up and pay up," moment at the garage. I merely wanted a summarization of my car problems so that I could discern what needs to be fixed first, considering the $800 quote I was just issued. Apparently, elementary car mechanics is too heady a subject for a mechanic to discuss with a woman. Granted, I'm not weeping into my latte over his attitude; rather, I'm worried about getting ripped-off.

Seems like the best way to avoid this would be to educate myself on the basics, learn the lingo, etc. So, I picked up Car Smarts by Mary Jackson.

Erma Bombeck always made me laugh with her wry comments about womanhood and motherhood. She lost her fight against cancer back in 1996. Just after she found out that she had cancer, she wrote this:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it ... and never give it back.

Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Women in Australian History

Yesterday was Anzac Day, so Adam had the day off, and he and I went to the National Maritime Museum for a few hours.

One exhibit we went through tracked the passage of water sports and the way people were involved with them throughout history. This is where I encountered the persona of Annette Kellerman. The symbol/ idea/ archetype of the mermaid in her many guises has been sort of a personal one for me, having lived near or on the ocean for almost my entire life, so Kellerman really attracted my attention because she's often dressed up as one.

First an athlete and vaudeville performer, then later a beauty queen and actress (I believe I read that she won the first beauty pageant ever), Kellerman was interested in health and body image. Defying restrictive Victorian custom, she devised a type of female swimsuit that was easier to move in and wear, but was considered scandalous at the time. I find it interesting in these days that women often find the modern swimsuit oppressive, because it is revealing and we are insecure of our bodies' shape and appearance. In Kellerman's day, her new revealing swimming costume was actually freeing. There's a brief online article about her here.

Another exhibit told the story of Matthew and Ann Flinders. Matthew was the explorer to first call the Australian continent "Australia" and led the first European expedition to circumnavigate the continent. On his way back home, he was imprisoned on the Isle of France (Mauritius) as a spy. He and his wife, Ann, were married for thirteen years, and were only able to spend less than five together in person. Their letters to each other were moving, especially to a girl who knows what it's like to be vastly separated for long amounts of time from the one she loves. ;-) Here's an excerpt from a draft of a letter from Matthew to Ann while he was imprisoned:

The arrival of thy letters forms the greatest epochs in my present monotonous life, and I sigh for them as for the most desired of blessings; next to the liberation which should permit me to fly to thy arms, they afford me the greatest happiness I can receive. The improvement in thy health, the constancy of thy affection, and the continued kindness of our friends to thee, are the subjects which I call to my aid, to keep off that depression of spirits which so many causes are ever ready to excite, and I receive consolation from them. Cease not then, my best beloved, to write often if thou wouldst preserve me from distraction.

[Added Later...]
The museum's blurb on Matthew and Ann Flinders, and the blurb on Annette Kellerman, along with some memorabilia, from my pictures yesterday.

"Can this man fuck his way out of a paper bag? Maybe not, but he recycles!"

Speaking of baching it: have we invited Heather Havrilesky to this shindig? If not, we should.

Go Jan!; Two wrongs...

Wow, how wonderful to know we are part of the scholarly discussion.

Regarding Esta below: it is indeed lamentable at some twisted level I haven't quite come to terms with yet - since I deplore the concept of the show in general - that ABC's next round of tripe is going to be "The Bachelor" again, and not "The Bachelorette." The show's message boards have batted this around - see here and here, for example. The recurring argument made about why The Bachelorette wouldn't make it is it wouldn't have as broad an audience - that is, men only watch this show to ogle, while women watch for the drama, suspense, etc. I think (straight) men (of a certain limited intellect) might still watch the reverse version for the same reason they read those "how to really please a woman" articles - on some subliminal level, they'll want to see what it takes to "capture the flag."

BlogSisters featured in research paper.
Several of us have been quoted in a research paper, "Weblogs: An Opinioning Opportunity for Women," developed by Jan Carroll, a student at the University of Wisconsin--Eau Claire as part of her program in technical writing major, web emphasis. She had contacted various female webloggers and asked them to fill out a survey; many of the respondents were BlogSisters. I had an opportunity to read a draft, and you can be sure that we are very well represented. The paper takes a unique look at the technologies to which women have had access to express their opinions, from sewing machines and typwriters to weblogs. There is no doubt that we BlogSisters are carving out our own territory on the web. And we have only just begun, so keep on posting. Of course, we think that Jan should get an A+.

Following up on Esta and tv, posted below
First of all, let me say that I don't watch the Bachelor or any or any of the reality shows. I'm beginning to prefer the world of Ally McBeal more and more. And I'm bummed that it's approaching it's demise, although it really was running out of plot lines. And, as you know, I'm really going to miss Jon Bon Jovi. I watch too much tv also. It's how I escape -- whether it's Alias or Ally, Gilmore Girls or Buffy, it's all a much different reality than the one I live in and that's fine with me.

As for men, I repeat that I am a female chauvinist, and until a few years ago, serial monogamy served my purposes well. Of course, I had already done the other -- marriage, kids, etc. -- so I figured "I'm entitled." I don't pretend to understand men at all, although I think Camille Pagia got it right when she used how they piss as a metaphor for how they do everything. But, as one woman novelist I once read wrote (or at least something pretty close) "I am always fascinated by the hydraulics of the penis."

Speaking of penises, I just skimmed though Camille Paglia's Vamps and Tramps, the first chapter of which is entitled "The Penis Unsheathed." As usual, she melds scholarship with clever verbiage. But if you've seen one Paglia, you've seen them all.

Linda Lovelace died yesterday.
(I'm double posting this because it belongs here but I wanted it on my own blog as well.)

She died in a car accident. But that's not my point. Linda Lovelace's most famous and most degrading movie, Deep Throatwas the first porno movie I ever saw. It was on a double bill with The Devil in Miss Jones in the only movie theater in Gloucester, Maine.

One summer weekend in the mid-seventies, a female elementary school teacher friend of mine and I left our husbands with our kids and took off for a weekend on our own. We wound up in Cape Anne, Massachusetts, where we did some sightseeing, including discovering that Harry Chapin's song about "Dogtown" was based on real and really weird stuff. On our first night there we were so tired that we crashed after dinner (and wine, of course) and then set out the next day for Gloucester. Well, what can two married women do in the evening after dinner in a town where they don't know anyone? Heh. Go to the movies, of course. We had a choice of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid or a double porno bill. Neither one of us had ever seen a porno movie, and no one in town knew who we were. It was a chance we couldn't pass up.

Years after, Linda Lovelace revealed the horrors that she endured as her (then) husband proceeded to get her hooked on drugs and caught in a spiral of prostitution and personal brutality. That was the reality. But for two young naive married women off on a weekend away from their every day real worlds, the fantasy was too intriguing to pass up.

It is important to know the difference between fantasy and reality.

Here's an interesting question from Annessa:
Hey, I have a question for you bloggers out there: If you had the opportunity, would you participate in a group 'blogger's vacation'? Like if a bunch of us were to go somewhere fun (cruise, Virgin Islands, etc.) as a giant group? Kind of like SXSW, but without anything productive to come out of it? I'm not saying anything's going to happen, but if enough people say yes, I'm thinking about setting up something. Let me know.

Check out Annessa's site and think about all going on a non-blogging vacation together. Post your thoughts here. I'll tell Annessa to check the comments.

A different female's perspective
I don’t remember where I first heard Camille Paglia speak. I think it was on the old Phil Donahue show. What I do remember is being totally enthralled by her perspectives on just about everything. Hated by both radical feminists as well as right-wing “fascinating womanhood” females, dismissed by most men because of her intense, confrontational, opinionated style, and shunned by many of her peers because of her controversial convictions about sexuality and morality, Camille is just the kind of woman that gets my attention.

I posted a long ramble on my own site about the opinions of this controversial thinker and writer and invite you to take a look and see what you think about what she has to say.

Is the Net taking up too much of our time?

Apparently, about one in 10 couples who go to Relate for marriage counselling, blame the Internet for the breakdown in their relationship.

The report goes on to say that: “Both men and women complain of becoming Internet "widows" as their partners spend hours at the computer downloading software or looking at pornography.”

Does spending too much time online/ chatting/ playing games eat into our family’s time?

Are we indulging in a form of cybercheating if we spend a lot of time chatting with people of the opposite sex, when there are other things to be done? Or should we spend that extra time with our partners, building our personal relationships instead?

Where does one draw the line?

Should we be more careful as to how we spend our time online?

What do you think?

Would your relationship suffer if you found your partner/ spouse was spending too much time online? Time that you wanted to spend with him/ her?

Do you know anyone who has personally gone through a relationship breakdown because of this reason?

If you have something interesting to share, please post it, instead of commenting.

If you’re not a member of the fairer sex and reading this and would like to justify your position and what you feel about it, please feel free to use the comments or email me.

OK. I admit it.
I watch Ally McBeal. I've seen every episode since it started. I love the show. I love Vonda Shepard and her vocals. I have all of the show's sound track albums. But most of all, these days I just luuuuvvv Jon Bon Jovi in his portrayal of Victor. So fine; I have a severe case of arrested development where he's concerned. But I don't care as long as I can feast my eyes on that incredible beautiful young man. Yum. Yum.

The Shadow Knows
This afternoon in posting on my own blog, I wound up rambling onto the issue of our “dark side,” our “shadow side.” I wanted to link to something that explained how I view that psychological concept, and so I Googled over to this site, which ended with the following:

My own experience with the dark goddesses has taken me down a path of several goddess myths and stories. I have struggled with and overcome an inferiority complex over body image (Medusa). Most recently, I have been working with Lilith, trying to incorporate her (heretofore forbidden) drive for freedom of expression and assertion of sexuality into my thinking and lifestyle. I look forward to working with Hecate, the Crone of Wisdom, when the time comes. I'm enjoying every minute of it; the feeling is like an opening flower. Each instance brings new light into my life, as well as a greater feeling of wholeness.

Polarity is undeniably a part of this world. The dark side is all around us, everywhere we look, in everything we experience. As the Christian Bible says "To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven." It follows by simple observation that all seasons are not right for all things; some are to be put aside, hidden, taken from the light into the dark for a time. Yet they remain a part of everything, a part of the whole, resting until the time in the great cycle to appear again.

And then as I was making dinner for my mom, I thought about posting something about “shadow,” and then had this weird deja vue thing that I had done this before and that Tish, on her fatshadow.com blog had linked to the yoni.com site before. Except it never happened.

So I’m going ahead and bringing up the “shadow” up here, because I think that Kali, and Lilith, and Hecate – in the Jungian archetypal sense – have a great deal to teach us. Years ago, I spent several years in therapy getting to know an love the Lilith in me. Got a lot of good poetry written out of that experience as well.

I’m wondering if any of the other BlogSisters have ever done these kinds of explorations of their “shadow” sides as a way of getting to know yourself better and change self-defeating behaviors. ???

I think it's time for a joke.
A WORLD FIRST - A MALE BLONDE JOKE

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch, and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him a taco or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.

“Don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."