The Lingerie Barbie is stirring up a fuss. On the local news last night a furious dad stated he refused to buy the product for his Barbie-loving daughter (it looked like she had just about everything Barbie, including a house) and he was shocked to see it in the FAO Schwarz catalog. I found it odd that there wasn't much focus on the fact that the toy was recommended for 14 year olds and older (his daughter must have been about 7 or so).
I've long been a big UN-fan of Barbie in general, but this new model doesn't bother me so much-- she's kind of just a blatant example of what, to me, Barbie is about anyway. The angry dad on the news was upset about the sexual suggestiveness of the toy, but apparently has no problem letting his daughter play with lots of blonde, unrealistically shaped dolls that promote sexism in a more insidious way. Is this your idea of femininity? I don't want to come down too hard on Barbie dolls. I had one (and only one, and she got pretty beat up) and other dolls as a little girl. But I also had Legos, an electrical circuit experimentation kit, a microscope, etc., etc., and so on. With the Barbie franchise putting out products in the past like a credit card Barbie and a talking Barbie that said, "Math is hard!" it's hard to see how Barbies are supposed to be taken seriously or especially edifying for kids anyway.
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Sunday, November 03, 2002
Counselling Teens in (Potentially?) Abusive Relationships
I'm trying to collect some online resources about unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationships. I'm involved in a community forum that seems to have a great deal of teenage girls. I never really took notice before, but ever since they implemented a special topic area for teens, I've been disturbed by the relationships a number of these girls are describing. They are so incredibly desperate and clingy. One, and I'm not exaggerating, went into a panic and blamed herself because she called her boyfriend while he was driving, and the cops started following him. Another, it seems to me, is 6 months away from "he hit me, but I made him so mad and he didn't mean it and he loves me soooo much."
I've found some resources about emotional abuse - symptoms, signs of an abuser, etc. - but while I recognize these characteristics, I'm not sure these girls would. Does anyone have any good resources? Maybe even just on self-esteem, dealing with a cheater, long distance relationships, etc. Preferrably focused on teen relationships.
Thanks in advance!
I've found some resources about emotional abuse - symptoms, signs of an abuser, etc. - but while I recognize these characteristics, I'm not sure these girls would. Does anyone have any good resources? Maybe even just on self-esteem, dealing with a cheater, long distance relationships, etc. Preferrably focused on teen relationships.
Thanks in advance!
Friday, November 01, 2002
Gender Gap: Boys Lagging
This story from 60 Minutes, about the growing trend in girls academically outperforming boys, was brought up by a student in my class recently. It struck me when I heard the story broadcast (I sometimes listen to a television program on the radio), that the performance issue is interesting when one considers that there continues to be a lag in women's earnings. An excerpt from the story:
"Why aren’t boys’ academic problems a bigger issue? “There's a little cultural secret at work here. Boys go out in the work world and earn more money,” says Thompson. “Nobody wants to admit what's happening, which is, 'You girls work very hard, but sorry, ladies, when you get out there, we're not going to pay you equally. And you boys, it's OK. You can loaf through school. You'll get good jobs afterwards.'”
"Why aren’t boys’ academic problems a bigger issue? “There's a little cultural secret at work here. Boys go out in the work world and earn more money,” says Thompson. “Nobody wants to admit what's happening, which is, 'You girls work very hard, but sorry, ladies, when you get out there, we're not going to pay you equally. And you boys, it's OK. You can loaf through school. You'll get good jobs afterwards.'”
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
What is "free"?
My Meidel is the Centerfold
I was just rifling through the Bitch Magazine archives and came across the above-linked article by Deborah Kolben about the first Jewish Playboy bunny, Lindsey Vuolo.
Kolben's thesis is that Vuolo, by posing nude, is defying the stereotypes that paint Jewish women.
If that isn't giving the patriarchy what it wants, I don't know what is.
From Bradley Hirschfield, rabbi and vice president of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership,
Kolben goes on to say,
I was just rifling through the Bitch Magazine archives and came across the above-linked article by Deborah Kolben about the first Jewish Playboy bunny, Lindsey Vuolo.
Kolben's thesis is that Vuolo, by posing nude, is defying the stereotypes that paint Jewish women.
As the self-proclaimed first-ever synagogue-attending Jewish centerfold, Lindsey finds herself heralding a new generation of young Jewish women seeking appreciation for their bodies as well as their minds.Kolben presents the binary that a woman can only be appreciated for either her mind or her body. This is a sexist construct. The only way to defeat this construct is to exist outside of it; NOT to flip the binary, to insist that, dammit, you will accept me for my mind AND my hot bod!
If that isn't giving the patriarchy what it wants, I don't know what is.
From Bradley Hirschfield, rabbi and vice president of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership,
“Now you have Jewish men who will go home and masturbate to a Jewish girl for a change,” Hirschfield enthuses on Beliefnet, a website devoted to religious discourse.Hardly something for a feminist to get excited about.
Kolben goes on to say,
Lindsey falls along a continuum of progress for Jewish women that began in 1945 when Bess Myerson, a brunette from the Bronx, became the first and only Jewish woman to win the title of Miss America.Sexual objectification = freedom. On what planet?
Monday, October 28, 2002
Petition time!
CODE PINK | Women's Pre-Emptive Strike for Peace
Though the big SF/DC anti-war rally has come and gone, we can still sign this peace petition. There's a pretty heavy essentialist slant to this particular organization ;), but the bottom line is their over 10,000 signature strong petition.
And, hey, Medea Benjamin has something to do with this, so it must be legit :D
RIP Senator Paul Wellstone.
Though the big SF/DC anti-war rally has come and gone, we can still sign this peace petition. There's a pretty heavy essentialist slant to this particular organization ;), but the bottom line is their over 10,000 signature strong petition.
And, hey, Medea Benjamin has something to do with this, so it must be legit :D
RIP Senator Paul Wellstone.
nasty windy days!!!
wasnt the weather scary yesterday!!! i was supposed to be meeting a friend in the afternoon but we both decided that we would not leave the house for fear of being blown over!!!!!!!! seems to be quite calm today tho, which is nice!
Saturday, October 26, 2002
tragedy strikes...and if you're a Democrat, your support is now needed more than ever.
I always thought Senator Paul Wellstone was one of the few Washington politicians that I could respect and admire.
In the words of his campaign manager: "Paul Wellstone was one of a kind. He was a man of principle and conviction, in a world that has too little of either. He was dedicated to helping the little guy, in a business dominated by the big guys. We who had the privilege of working with him hope that he will be remembered as he lived every day: as a champion for people."
The following information comes from the MoveOn.Org PAC mailing list:
"Right now, to our knowledge, neither the campaign nor Wellstone's remaining two sons have announced how they would like his death to be commemorated. If you wish to send a letter of condolence to his campaign, you can mail it to the following address:
Wellstone for Senate Campaign Headquarters
PO Box 14377
St. Paul, MN 55114
Make sure that you write "In memory" on the outside of the letter --
that way the campaign will be able to sort the mail more easily."
This is such a tragedy. I really don't know what to say, except my heart goes out to the people of Minnesota.
And, that now more than ever, we need to remember:
[cross-posted at cocokat in slumberland.]
In the words of his campaign manager: "Paul Wellstone was one of a kind. He was a man of principle and conviction, in a world that has too little of either. He was dedicated to helping the little guy, in a business dominated by the big guys. We who had the privilege of working with him hope that he will be remembered as he lived every day: as a champion for people."
The following information comes from the MoveOn.Org PAC mailing list:
"Right now, to our knowledge, neither the campaign nor Wellstone's remaining two sons have announced how they would like his death to be commemorated. If you wish to send a letter of condolence to his campaign, you can mail it to the following address:
Wellstone for Senate Campaign Headquarters
PO Box 14377
St. Paul, MN 55114
Make sure that you write "In memory" on the outside of the letter --
that way the campaign will be able to sort the mail more easily."
This is such a tragedy. I really don't know what to say, except my heart goes out to the people of Minnesota.
And, that now more than ever, we need to remember:
[cross-posted at cocokat in slumberland.]
Thursday, October 24, 2002
Oh, one more thing....
The survey responses are beginning to roll on in.... Don't forget to complete yours! Thanks! [p.s., these little reminders will appear from time to time over the next two weeks... for those of us who are memory challenged.]
Terrence Real on Oprah Monday
I received an email today from Terrence Real's assistant. It gives details on his upcomimg appearance on Oprah this coming Monday at 4:00--check your local listing to be sure. Terry Real has written some important books on relationships: How Can I Get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women and I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression.
Elaine talks about the books here.
Halley talks about the latest book here.
Terry Real says this about the Oprah gig:
"I wanted to share my excitement with you. On Monday Oct 28th at 4pm Eastern Standard (check your local listings in your area) I will appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show talking about "the reality of marriage " - a subject for which I am at no loss of words. The show deals with women's relationship to their wedding and then what happens after. I'm the "after" part. I thought everyone on the show was great."
He encourages feedback through his website and Oprah's. Should be an interesting show. I plan to watch--if you do, let me know what you think here or at ewriter@bellsouth.net. I'll collect the comments for Dr. Real or send him to our site.
Thanks!!
Elaine talks about the books here.
Halley talks about the latest book here.
Terry Real says this about the Oprah gig:
"I wanted to share my excitement with you. On Monday Oct 28th at 4pm Eastern Standard (check your local listings in your area) I will appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show talking about "the reality of marriage " - a subject for which I am at no loss of words. The show deals with women's relationship to their wedding and then what happens after. I'm the "after" part. I thought everyone on the show was great."
He encourages feedback through his website and Oprah's. Should be an interesting show. I plan to watch--if you do, let me know what you think here or at ewriter@bellsouth.net. I'll collect the comments for Dr. Real or send him to our site.
Thanks!!
new here
Umm...not sure what I am supposed to say or do...I am new....If I want to put a link to this where do I link to here http://blogsisters.blogspot.com/ .
Also Can i use the blogsisters logo picture?
Also Can i use the blogsisters logo picture?
Just Chillin'
Hiya, 'sup? I wanted to add this blog sister's site to mine, u know like a "sites I read" thingy? But I dunnoe how to do it. I reallie want to put it on my site cos this site's interesting! ;) Newayz, I dun even noe how to do my archives on my site. Visit my site & drop a post for me if ya want to?
http://www.allyville.blogspot.com
http://www.allyville.blogspot.com
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
Greetings!!!
Hello! I'm Helen, or Lady H to my friends. I'm 23 and i live and work in Liverpool (uk). I enjoy web design, music and socialising with my friends. Good god i sound like a lonely hearts ad dont i!!! eek!!! anyways, i'm glad to be part of this, i think its brilliant. I'll come back soon and post something worthwhile i promise!!!
Want to tell me about you and blogging?
Hello all. It's time. To say something to the world about women bloggers. Some good books have come out recently on weblogging and I've enjoyed every one of them. But I've also felt that while they do an excellent job at explaining the what, when, and how of weblogging, none have really tackled the who and why. So here I am. Looking to all of the women bloggers who play and share here, for your permission to use posts from your weblogs, and to ask if you'd like to tackle a survey form--write your hearts out, in other words.
I'm looking to write a book, possibly a series of articles, on the topic of women and weblogging, our voices online, how writing online (and what we write online) is affecting our relationships with others, ourselves, our world, and more. Although I can't pay you for your contributions, I'll give the contributors I use in publication credit for your contributions with your name (or pseudonym if you choose) and your weblog URL.
Want to start sharing? Let's get jiggy with it.
Open the RTF file below. Save it to your hard drive, wherever, with the file name of your choice (your name or blog name would be good). Have your say. Save again. And attach as an email back to me at ewriter@bellsouth.net. I'll add the link to the survey to the margin as well, so as this post drops down you'll know where to find it. Feel free to send to other women webloggers too. (And don't worry, I'll get the fellas' input along the way, if, when, and where it's fitting.) Thanks a ton!
BLOG SISTERS SURVEY!
I'm looking to write a book, possibly a series of articles, on the topic of women and weblogging, our voices online, how writing online (and what we write online) is affecting our relationships with others, ourselves, our world, and more. Although I can't pay you for your contributions, I'll give the contributors I use in publication credit for your contributions with your name (or pseudonym if you choose) and your weblog URL.
Want to start sharing? Let's get jiggy with it.
Open the RTF file below. Save it to your hard drive, wherever, with the file name of your choice (your name or blog name would be good). Have your say. Save again. And attach as an email back to me at ewriter@bellsouth.net. I'll add the link to the survey to the margin as well, so as this post drops down you'll know where to find it. Feel free to send to other women webloggers too. (And don't worry, I'll get the fellas' input along the way, if, when, and where it's fitting.) Thanks a ton!
BLOG SISTERS SURVEY!
Monday, October 21, 2002
Speaking of Societal Measures of Masculinity...
I found over at Uppity Negro this interesting, though maybe over-vocabularized article, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and notions of masculinity. The article focuses on one of the long-standing male villians, a vampire named Spike, who started out as the worst kind of violent, macho baddie; became, through a government microchip, impotent as a vampire (it prevented him from inflicting any pain on a human being by causing a massive headache); and is now struggling with a full-on human conscience/soul (OK, remember, this tv show is very fictional ;-) ) in a demon's body.
The article finds parallels to the struggle of the modern Western male, who with the recent rise in female empowerment and status as of the turn of the century, needs to find new ways to express the masculine ideal in terms of status symbols, behavior, and appearance. What I found somewhat disappointing, though, was what I felt was a not very thorough examination of the character history of Spike. What the article doesn't mention is Spike's beginning as a vampire: he was once a failed poet, and essentially an utter failure as the "traditional" ideal of masculine. He was effeminite, sentimental, unattractive to women, and also a really sucky poet. After being socially rejected, he becomes a vampire, and takes on the hyper-macho personality of violence, strength, recklessness, and conventional male power. When finally confronted with a female equal (Buffy), he becomes emasculated again, only this time to (I think) gain the potential to grow beyond the stereotype of male-strong-violent-phallus-power. An interesting spiral of development, methinks. What the show then provides, is, perhaps (if you can believe that a television show about a teenage girl who is destined to kill demons can offer any kind of deep significance) a model for the modern man to accept a new form of gender idealism which doesn't focus solely on brute force and masculine strength.
I could go on, but that's enough blather for now. ;-)
The article finds parallels to the struggle of the modern Western male, who with the recent rise in female empowerment and status as of the turn of the century, needs to find new ways to express the masculine ideal in terms of status symbols, behavior, and appearance. What I found somewhat disappointing, though, was what I felt was a not very thorough examination of the character history of Spike. What the article doesn't mention is Spike's beginning as a vampire: he was once a failed poet, and essentially an utter failure as the "traditional" ideal of masculine. He was effeminite, sentimental, unattractive to women, and also a really sucky poet. After being socially rejected, he becomes a vampire, and takes on the hyper-macho personality of violence, strength, recklessness, and conventional male power. When finally confronted with a female equal (Buffy), he becomes emasculated again, only this time to (I think) gain the potential to grow beyond the stereotype of male-strong-violent-phallus-power. An interesting spiral of development, methinks. What the show then provides, is, perhaps (if you can believe that a television show about a teenage girl who is destined to kill demons can offer any kind of deep significance) a model for the modern man to accept a new form of gender idealism which doesn't focus solely on brute force and masculine strength.
I could go on, but that's enough blather for now. ;-)
Sunday, October 20, 2002
"Men are always wrong...about women."
The above is a quote from a superbly produced play, "A Killing's Tale," written by my ex-husband and b!X's dad. The play, a murder mystery set in the Globe Theater during Shakespeare's time, has Shakespeare deliver the above line.
The play deserves a post all of its own, but that's not where I'm heading with this. I saw the play with a couple who are good friends of mine. I've known the woman, a lawyer and child advocate, for years; her live-in male companion has been with her for the past several years, and so I've gotten to know him through her.
The three of us went to dinner before the play, and, because we were going to see a play by my ex-husband, the conversation naturally meandered toward relationships and why they work and don't work. Now, the woman in this couple is liberal, feminist, creative, childless, and previously divorced. The man has kids from a previous marriage, is intelligent and well-read, and has a wry sense of humor. And he takes great pleasure in asserting Neanderthal attitudes about relationships and women. Yet, they seem to have a good time together.
She says it's because he makes her laugh, they enjoy doing the same kinds of things together (like taking me along with them to see a play); he doesn't care if she shaves her legs or under her armspits; he doesn't expect her to cook or clean (he's neater than she is and so he often does the cleaning). Neither tries to make the other into something he/she is not.
But she also says that if they had met during an earlier stage of their lives, they would have hated each other. They could never have raised children together. But they are at that last partnership stage of life where it's not necessary to agree on a lot of things. What one looks for is companionship, a sharing of everyday things good and bad, a good friend who makes you laugh and will travel with you even though he doesn't really like to fly.
They both loved the play -- which is full of wit and witticisms, has two strong women characters, and includes lots of relevant sub-themes, including homosexuality, religious censorship, and the complexities of male-female relationships. As the Shakespeare character demonstrates, talented playwrights do not necessarily good husbands make.
(This is also posted on my own weblog. I seem to be inclined these days to turn my back on the big disturbing polictical picture -- which seems so removed from anything that I can influence -- and focus more on the small, personal and interpersonal interactions that, to me as of late, seem more real and ultimately momentous.)
The play deserves a post all of its own, but that's not where I'm heading with this. I saw the play with a couple who are good friends of mine. I've known the woman, a lawyer and child advocate, for years; her live-in male companion has been with her for the past several years, and so I've gotten to know him through her.
The three of us went to dinner before the play, and, because we were going to see a play by my ex-husband, the conversation naturally meandered toward relationships and why they work and don't work. Now, the woman in this couple is liberal, feminist, creative, childless, and previously divorced. The man has kids from a previous marriage, is intelligent and well-read, and has a wry sense of humor. And he takes great pleasure in asserting Neanderthal attitudes about relationships and women. Yet, they seem to have a good time together.
She says it's because he makes her laugh, they enjoy doing the same kinds of things together (like taking me along with them to see a play); he doesn't care if she shaves her legs or under her armspits; he doesn't expect her to cook or clean (he's neater than she is and so he often does the cleaning). Neither tries to make the other into something he/she is not.
But she also says that if they had met during an earlier stage of their lives, they would have hated each other. They could never have raised children together. But they are at that last partnership stage of life where it's not necessary to agree on a lot of things. What one looks for is companionship, a sharing of everyday things good and bad, a good friend who makes you laugh and will travel with you even though he doesn't really like to fly.
They both loved the play -- which is full of wit and witticisms, has two strong women characters, and includes lots of relevant sub-themes, including homosexuality, religious censorship, and the complexities of male-female relationships. As the Shakespeare character demonstrates, talented playwrights do not necessarily good husbands make.
(This is also posted on my own weblog. I seem to be inclined these days to turn my back on the big disturbing polictical picture -- which seems so removed from anything that I can influence -- and focus more on the small, personal and interpersonal interactions that, to me as of late, seem more real and ultimately momentous.)
Friday, October 18, 2002
Vikkicar signing in...
Hi there. I'm new here. I got in last week or so. Have been checking the archives and the blogs of the sisters here. Having fun reading different blogs from different females perspectives. I am quite new in the blogging community as well. [started May of this year] At first, I was hesitant to make my blog public but finally got brave enough and finally decided to think out loud. [that's also the title of my blog]
I'm 26. I have a job but I don't like it. It was supposed to be a temp job but after four years I'm still at it. It's just hard to look for another job here in the Philippines. [tell me about it...] I'm grateful though that I have a job. At least, I get to buy stuffs and all that. Also, my boss is a relative and he happens to be really nice. Though next year, I have to decide whether I'm staying or going.
I don't smoke or drink, by choice. I don't like smokers who smokes in my way. That's a pet peeve. I'm a homebody. I'd rather stay home in front of my TV than go out to clubs. I'm rather fascinated with men in briefs/boxerbriefs rather than boxers. [that requires another post...teehee]
Dinner with friends and girltalkin' galore over a cup of [the beverage of choice] is one of the things I enjoy doing. Movies. Music. JANE Magazines. TV. Books. [can't get enough of them] I need more time. I don't interact with people that well. I'm quiet. I'm insomniac. I'm Aquarian. If you want to know more about me, just visit my utopia.
I am excited to be a part of this sisterhood though the image of the nun really creeps me out. Big time. Thank you Miss Elaine for sending me the invitation.
Have a fine weekend to all the ladies in here. Godbless.
I'm 26. I have a job but I don't like it. It was supposed to be a temp job but after four years I'm still at it. It's just hard to look for another job here in the Philippines. [tell me about it...] I'm grateful though that I have a job. At least, I get to buy stuffs and all that. Also, my boss is a relative and he happens to be really nice. Though next year, I have to decide whether I'm staying or going.
I don't smoke or drink, by choice. I don't like smokers who smokes in my way. That's a pet peeve. I'm a homebody. I'd rather stay home in front of my TV than go out to clubs. I'm rather fascinated with men in briefs/boxerbriefs rather than boxers. [that requires another post...teehee]
Dinner with friends and girltalkin' galore over a cup of [the beverage of choice] is one of the things I enjoy doing. Movies. Music. JANE Magazines. TV. Books. [can't get enough of them] I need more time. I don't interact with people that well. I'm quiet. I'm insomniac. I'm Aquarian. If you want to know more about me, just visit my utopia.
I am excited to be a part of this sisterhood though the image of the nun really creeps me out. Big time. Thank you Miss Elaine for sending me the invitation.
Have a fine weekend to all the ladies in here. Godbless.
The Sensuous Male
(This is a double post from my own weblog.)
He's on my mind today both because last night was Salsa dancing at Club Matrixx and because there are some current posts here on Blog Sisters complaining about having to deal with men ogling them and making ridiculous noises and gestures.
I think that many men are confused about the differences between sexist and sexy. In my opinion, many men don't have clue about "sensuality," especially their own. In my opinion, the guys who stand around and ogle women are completely out of touch with their own sensuality.
Contrast that with the guys out dancing Salsa last night. I don't know any of their names yet; I've only been there several times so far, and I go there to dance, not talk. And I do dance -- and the Salsa is a sensuous dance.
One short, paunchy, thinly gray-haired guy, always dressed in a suit, is the best dancer there. He feels the music; every move reflects the intention of every beat. He leads gently but assuredly, holds me firmly, close but not suffacatingly so; he watches and makes sure we keep in touch. He is short, paunchy, thinly gray-haired and marvelously sensual. He loves to dance. He likes women. He doesn't ogle. He's having too much fun. He stops me on my way out to say goodnight. I ask him to save me a few dances next week. You bet, he says.
Another, a young guy, glasses, nice looking, serious, shy, dressed down. His movements are smaller scaled but just as sensual. When we get into a groove, the patterns flowing as though we had choreographed them, his face breaks into a wide smile. His eyes twinkle. We are one with the music and the sensuality of the dance. He is in the moment. He doesn't ogle. He's having too much fun.
I'm 62 years old and past the age at which I get ogled by guys out of touch with their own sensuality. Boy, do those guys need to learn to Salsa!
He's on my mind today both because last night was Salsa dancing at Club Matrixx and because there are some current posts here on Blog Sisters complaining about having to deal with men ogling them and making ridiculous noises and gestures.
I think that many men are confused about the differences between sexist and sexy. In my opinion, many men don't have clue about "sensuality," especially their own. In my opinion, the guys who stand around and ogle women are completely out of touch with their own sensuality.
Contrast that with the guys out dancing Salsa last night. I don't know any of their names yet; I've only been there several times so far, and I go there to dance, not talk. And I do dance -- and the Salsa is a sensuous dance.
One short, paunchy, thinly gray-haired guy, always dressed in a suit, is the best dancer there. He feels the music; every move reflects the intention of every beat. He leads gently but assuredly, holds me firmly, close but not suffacatingly so; he watches and makes sure we keep in touch. He is short, paunchy, thinly gray-haired and marvelously sensual. He loves to dance. He likes women. He doesn't ogle. He's having too much fun. He stops me on my way out to say goodnight. I ask him to save me a few dances next week. You bet, he says.
Another, a young guy, glasses, nice looking, serious, shy, dressed down. His movements are smaller scaled but just as sensual. When we get into a groove, the patterns flowing as though we had choreographed them, his face breaks into a wide smile. His eyes twinkle. We are one with the music and the sensuality of the dance. He is in the moment. He doesn't ogle. He's having too much fun.
I'm 62 years old and past the age at which I get ogled by guys out of touch with their own sensuality. Boy, do those guys need to learn to Salsa!
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