What is "free"?

My Meidel is the Centerfold

I was just rifling through the Bitch Magazine archives and came across the above-linked article by Deborah Kolben about the first Jewish Playboy bunny, Lindsey Vuolo.

Kolben's thesis is that Vuolo, by posing nude, is defying the stereotypes that paint Jewish women.

As the self-proclaimed first-ever synagogue-attending Jewish centerfold, Lindsey finds herself heralding a new generation of young Jewish women seeking appreciation for their bodies as well as their minds.

Kolben presents the binary that a woman can only be appreciated for either her mind or her body. This is a sexist construct. The only way to defeat this construct is to exist outside of it; NOT to flip the binary, to insist that, dammit, you will accept me for my mind AND my hot bod!

If that isn't giving the patriarchy what it wants, I don't know what is.

From Bradley Hirschfield, rabbi and vice president of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership,

“Now you have Jewish men who will go home and masturbate to a Jewish girl for a change,” Hirschfield enthuses on Beliefnet, a website devoted to religious discourse.

Hardly something for a feminist to get excited about.

Kolben goes on to say,

Lindsey falls along a continuum of progress for Jewish women that began in 1945 when Bess Myerson, a brunette from the Bronx, became the first and only Jewish woman to win the title of Miss America.

Sexual objectification = freedom. On what planet?

Petition time!

CODE PINK | Women's Pre-Emptive Strike for Peace
Though the big SF/DC anti-war rally has come and gone, we can still sign this peace petition. There's a pretty heavy essentialist slant to this particular organization ;), but the bottom line is their over 10,000 signature strong petition.

And, hey, Medea Benjamin has something to do with this, so it must be legit :D

RIP Senator Paul Wellstone.

nasty windy days!!!

wasnt the weather scary yesterday!!! i was supposed to be meeting a friend in the afternoon but we both decided that we would not leave the house for fear of being blown over!!!!!!!! seems to be quite calm today tho, which is nice!

tragedy strikes...and if you're a Democrat, your support is now needed more than ever.

I always thought Senator Paul Wellstone was one of the few Washington politicians that I could respect and admire.
In the words of his campaign manager: "Paul Wellstone was one of a kind. He was a man of principle and conviction, in a world that has too little of either. He was dedicated to helping the little guy, in a business dominated by the big guys. We who had the privilege of working with him hope that he will be remembered as he lived every day: as a champion for people."
The following information comes from the MoveOn.Org PAC mailing list:
"Right now, to our knowledge, neither the campaign nor Wellstone's remaining two sons have announced how they would like his death to be commemorated. If you wish to send a letter of condolence to his campaign, you can mail it to the following address:

Wellstone for Senate Campaign Headquarters
PO Box 14377
St. Paul, MN 55114

Make sure that you write "In memory" on the outside of the letter --
that way the campaign will be able to sort the mail more easily."

This is such a tragedy. I really don't know what to say, except my heart goes out to the people of Minnesota.
And, that now more than ever, we need to remember:



[cross-posted at cocokat in slumberland.]

Oh, one more thing....

The survey responses are beginning to roll on in.... Don't forget to complete yours! Thanks! [p.s., these little reminders will appear from time to time over the next two weeks... for those of us who are memory challenged.]

Terrence Real on Oprah Monday

I received an email today from Terrence Real's assistant. It gives details on his upcomimg appearance on Oprah this coming Monday at 4:00--check your local listing to be sure. Terry Real has written some important books on relationships: How Can I Get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women and I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression.

Elaine talks about the books here.

Halley talks about the latest book here.

Terry Real says this about the Oprah gig:

"I wanted to share my excitement with you. On Monday Oct 28th at 4pm Eastern Standard (check your local listings in your area) I will appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show talking about "the reality of marriage " - a subject for which I am at no loss of words. The show deals with women's relationship to their wedding and then what happens after. I'm the "after" part. I thought everyone on the show was great."

He encourages feedback through his website and Oprah's. Should be an interesting show. I plan to watch--if you do, let me know what you think here or at ewriter@bellsouth.net. I'll collect the comments for Dr. Real or send him to our site.

Thanks!!

Her site's pretty cool

Hello there! Wassup?

Hello there

new here

Umm...not sure what I am supposed to say or do...I am new....If I want to put a link to this where do I link to here http://blogsisters.blogspot.com/ .
Also Can i use the blogsisters logo picture?

Just Chillin'

Hiya, 'sup? I wanted to add this blog sister's site to mine, u know like a "sites I read" thingy? But I dunnoe how to do it. I reallie want to put it on my site cos this site's interesting! ;) Newayz, I dun even noe how to do my archives on my site. Visit my site & drop a post for me if ya want to?
http://www.allyville.blogspot.com

Greetings!!!

Hello! I'm Helen, or Lady H to my friends. I'm 23 and i live and work in Liverpool (uk). I enjoy web design, music and socialising with my friends. Good god i sound like a lonely hearts ad dont i!!! eek!!! anyways, i'm glad to be part of this, i think its brilliant. I'll come back soon and post something worthwhile i promise!!!

Want to tell me about you and blogging?

Hello all. It's time. To say something to the world about women bloggers. Some good books have come out recently on weblogging and I've enjoyed every one of them. But I've also felt that while they do an excellent job at explaining the what, when, and how of weblogging, none have really tackled the who and why. So here I am. Looking to all of the women bloggers who play and share here, for your permission to use posts from your weblogs, and to ask if you'd like to tackle a survey form--write your hearts out, in other words.

I'm looking to write a book, possibly a series of articles, on the topic of women and weblogging, our voices online, how writing online (and what we write online) is affecting our relationships with others, ourselves, our world, and more. Although I can't pay you for your contributions, I'll give the contributors I use in publication credit for your contributions with your name (or pseudonym if you choose) and your weblog URL.

Want to start sharing? Let's get jiggy with it.

Open the RTF file below. Save it to your hard drive, wherever, with the file name of your choice (your name or blog name would be good). Have your say. Save again. And attach as an email back to me at ewriter@bellsouth.net. I'll add the link to the survey to the margin as well, so as this post drops down you'll know where to find it. Feel free to send to other women webloggers too. (And don't worry, I'll get the fellas' input along the way, if, when, and where it's fitting.) Thanks a ton!

BLOG SISTERS SURVEY!

Speaking of Societal Measures of Masculinity...

I found over at Uppity Negro this interesting, though maybe over-vocabularized article, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and notions of masculinity. The article focuses on one of the long-standing male villians, a vampire named Spike, who started out as the worst kind of violent, macho baddie; became, through a government microchip, impotent as a vampire (it prevented him from inflicting any pain on a human being by causing a massive headache); and is now struggling with a full-on human conscience/soul (OK, remember, this tv show is very fictional ;-) ) in a demon's body.

The article finds parallels to the struggle of the modern Western male, who with the recent rise in female empowerment and status as of the turn of the century, needs to find new ways to express the masculine ideal in terms of status symbols, behavior, and appearance. What I found somewhat disappointing, though, was what I felt was a not very thorough examination of the character history of Spike. What the article doesn't mention is Spike's beginning as a vampire: he was once a failed poet, and essentially an utter failure as the "traditional" ideal of masculine. He was effeminite, sentimental, unattractive to women, and also a really sucky poet. After being socially rejected, he becomes a vampire, and takes on the hyper-macho personality of violence, strength, recklessness, and conventional male power. When finally confronted with a female equal (Buffy), he becomes emasculated again, only this time to (I think) gain the potential to grow beyond the stereotype of male-strong-violent-phallus-power. An interesting spiral of development, methinks. What the show then provides, is, perhaps (if you can believe that a television show about a teenage girl who is destined to kill demons can offer any kind of deep significance) a model for the modern man to accept a new form of gender idealism which doesn't focus solely on brute force and masculine strength.

I could go on, but that's enough blather for now. ;-)

"Men are always wrong...about women."

The above is a quote from a superbly produced play, "A Killing's Tale," written by my ex-husband and b!X's dad. The play, a murder mystery set in the Globe Theater during Shakespeare's time, has Shakespeare deliver the above line.

The play deserves a post all of its own, but that's not where I'm heading with this. I saw the play with a couple who are good friends of mine. I've known the woman, a lawyer and child advocate, for years; her live-in male companion has been with her for the past several years, and so I've gotten to know him through her.

The three of us went to dinner before the play, and, because we were going to see a play by my ex-husband, the conversation naturally meandered toward relationships and why they work and don't work. Now, the woman in this couple is liberal, feminist, creative, childless, and previously divorced. The man has kids from a previous marriage, is intelligent and well-read, and has a wry sense of humor. And he takes great pleasure in asserting Neanderthal attitudes about relationships and women. Yet, they seem to have a good time together.

She says it's because he makes her laugh, they enjoy doing the same kinds of things together (like taking me along with them to see a play); he doesn't care if she shaves her legs or under her armspits; he doesn't expect her to cook or clean (he's neater than she is and so he often does the cleaning). Neither tries to make the other into something he/she is not.

But she also says that if they had met during an earlier stage of their lives, they would have hated each other. They could never have raised children together. But they are at that last partnership stage of life where it's not necessary to agree on a lot of things. What one looks for is companionship, a sharing of everyday things good and bad, a good friend who makes you laugh and will travel with you even though he doesn't really like to fly.

They both loved the play -- which is full of wit and witticisms, has two strong women characters, and includes lots of relevant sub-themes, including homosexuality, religious censorship, and the complexities of male-female relationships. As the Shakespeare character demonstrates, talented playwrights do not necessarily good husbands make.

(This is also posted on my own weblog. I seem to be inclined these days to turn my back on the big disturbing polictical picture -- which seems so removed from anything that I can influence -- and focus more on the small, personal and interpersonal interactions that, to me as of late, seem more real and ultimately momentous.)

Vikkicar signing in...

Hi there. I'm new here. I got in last week or so. Have been checking the archives and the blogs of the sisters here. Having fun reading different blogs from different females perspectives. I am quite new in the blogging community as well. [started May of this year] At first, I was hesitant to make my blog public but finally got brave enough and finally decided to think out loud. [that's also the title of my blog]

I'm 26. I have a job but I don't like it. It was supposed to be a temp job but after four years I'm still at it. It's just hard to look for another job here in the Philippines. [tell me about it...] I'm grateful though that I have a job. At least, I get to buy stuffs and all that. Also, my boss is a relative and he happens to be really nice. Though next year, I have to decide whether I'm staying or going.

I don't smoke or drink, by choice. I don't like smokers who smokes in my way. That's a pet peeve. I'm a homebody. I'd rather stay home in front of my TV than go out to clubs. I'm rather fascinated with men in briefs/boxerbriefs rather than boxers. [that requires another post...teehee]

Dinner with friends and girltalkin' galore over a cup of [the beverage of choice] is one of the things I enjoy doing. Movies. Music. JANE Magazines. TV. Books. [can't get enough of them] I need more time. I don't interact with people that well. I'm quiet. I'm insomniac. I'm Aquarian. If you want to know more about me, just visit my utopia.

I am excited to be a part of this sisterhood though the image of the nun really creeps me out. Big time. Thank you Miss Elaine for sending me the invitation.

Have a fine weekend to all the ladies in here. Godbless.

The Sensuous Male

(This is a double post from my own weblog.)
He's on my mind today both because last night was Salsa dancing at Club Matrixx and because there are some current posts here on Blog Sisters complaining about having to deal with men ogling them and making ridiculous noises and gestures.

I think that many men are confused about the differences between sexist and sexy. In my opinion, many men don't have clue about "sensuality," especially their own. In my opinion, the guys who stand around and ogle women are completely out of touch with their own sensuality.

Contrast that with the guys out dancing Salsa last night. I don't know any of their names yet; I've only been there several times so far, and I go there to dance, not talk. And I do dance -- and the Salsa is a sensuous dance.

One short, paunchy, thinly gray-haired guy, always dressed in a suit, is the best dancer there. He feels the music; every move reflects the intention of every beat. He leads gently but assuredly, holds me firmly, close but not suffacatingly so; he watches and makes sure we keep in touch. He is short, paunchy, thinly gray-haired and marvelously sensual. He loves to dance. He likes women. He doesn't ogle. He's having too much fun. He stops me on my way out to say goodnight. I ask him to save me a few dances next week. You bet, he says.

Another, a young guy, glasses, nice looking, serious, shy, dressed down. His movements are smaller scaled but just as sensual. When we get into a groove, the patterns flowing as though we had choreographed them, his face breaks into a wide smile. His eyes twinkle. We are one with the music and the sensuality of the dance. He is in the moment. He doesn't ogle. He's having too much fun.

I'm 62 years old and past the age at which I get ogled by guys out of touch with their own sensuality. Boy, do those guys need to learn to Salsa!

Mananitas?

Here's one for the Blog Sisters, since we seem to have Sisters from just about every ethnic group on the planet:

I'm trying to find out about the origins and history of the "mananita," which, according to a photo in a yarn catalog, is a lacey shawl knit in a spiral. I can't find anything on the Web. Does anyone know???

Hello there. Lovely to be part of a Blog Sisters. Just an addition to the 350 periods. I've calculated exactly 289 for me and I don't have any kids! Whats even more of thought provoking is that each month at least one egg was unfurtilised. (we know about multiple eggs right?). So, when I think about my 25 years and 8 months of worth of periods, I think about that. I know that millions of sperm get released each time a guy ejaculates, but to me, that's waaayyyyyyy different. Is that wrong? Anyway, thats all I have to say about that. Come and visit me if you like at http://xsclothingwoman.blogspot.com and read about my adventures and thoughts!
Nothing flash, just some fun stuff!

b!X's birthday bash?

On October 26, the day after his 33rd birthday, my son b!X will be marching in San Francisco to protest our government's warmongering policy on Iraq. I hope that it becomes a birthday bash and not a head bashing for him.

So, if any of you are in SF at the same time and run into him, give him a big birthday hug and kiss from his Momma, who hasn't had a chance to do that for years and years now.

And may all of you marchers and protesters be safe and successful. And so may all of us who don't believe that waging war against Iraq is going to make life better for anyone but those who are already protected by power and money.

In celebration of 350

The way I figure it, today I began my 350th period. I figure it this way--I started at age 10 (yes, young), which means I've been having my period for 30 years. At 12 months in a year, that's 360. Take away the 9 months of pregnancy and 1 month it stayed away after, and that brings me to my 350 milestone.

Why a milestone? Because it means I've lived through 350 episodes of stinking PMS, that's why. And this month was a doosey. Ask Halley. She talked to me during my downward spiral last week. "I don't know, Halley. Nothing's really right. Everything's basically wrong. It's pretty much useless." Those kinds of things. Anyone familiar with them?

Swiftly, without giving my household or my mind time to switch gears, the old hormones had me rocketing into anger mode. "WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT??!" "JENNA STOP IT OR GET TO YOUR ROOM!" "DID I SAY I WAS ANGRY??" Holy cripe, I couldn't even stand myself. All the while, I wasn't sure what was up because I was a week late and vascilated between wondering, am I pregnant or did i mix up when I last had my little friend?

Let me tell you, the relief last night when old 350 hit was palpable. Children slept. The neighborhood dogs stopped baying. Birds began chirping from their quiet nests. The clouds parted to show a massive sky dotted with sparkling stars. Husbands around the world sighed. And me, I was suddenly Glenda, the good witch of the North again.

So for anyone wondering, 350's a charm.

Hope Springs Eternal

(this is a double post; also on my weblog)
Periodically, I get emails from various anti-war friends to sign an email petition or some such thing. Thanks to the education b!X has given me about separating the internet wheat from the chaff, I have learned to reply to such emails with a version of the following message -- which I just sent to the dozens of people who also received the latest email and whose addresses were at my mercy in the body of the message.

You should know that this effort is bogus and is just a waste of your time. There are several sites that you can check for the validity of similar efforts and other rumors spread over the internet. One of these is http://www.snopes.com/index.htm. If you go there and search for "United Nations Peace Petition," you will find an explanation of this untrue rumor.

Also, just a helpful hint for when you send out mass emails -- it's wise to enter those addresses in the BCC: box so that all of those addresses are not visible. (For example, I was able to send this message to everyone who was on the mailing list along with me.)

Finally, if you want to keep up with all kinds of non-mainstream information about "King George" and his efforts to propel us into a warring frenzy, check out www.poxamericana.us.

hi sisters!!

first of all..thanks a million for invitin me to be one of the blog sisters..such an honour.. well anyway..i juz wanna know what u guys think abt this topic..
Should divorce be banned?
i got it for one of my examinations topic and well..i guess i didnt do my best on it..
its reali a good question eh??
anyway..blog away and tell me ur comments..
hehehe....

Voila!

The new design is in place. The most observant of you may notice that the archives are a bit funky. I'm blaming it on Blogger, because I can't think of anything I'm doing wrong to make the February link show March dates (though the more recent archives seem to be working just fine).

At any rate, I hope y'all like the new look. If you have any specific, pressing concerns (like that brownish color scheme I chose makes you succumb to epileptic fits, etc.), please do let me know. I have no intention of being the Tech Nazi. :-)

More activism.

Hi sisters! I'm still really new to the community, but I thought I'd throw this link out there (and hopefully it hasn't been discussed earlier). I caught about 10 minutes of Oprah today, and was really drawn to what was being discussed.

Its the story of a Nigerian woman, who is in danger of being stoned ... and we can help.

From Amnesty International USA's website:

AMINA LAWAL, a 30 year-old Muslim woman, was sentenced on Friday 22 March 2002 to stoning to death by a Shari'ah court at Bakori in Katsina State in northern Nigeria. Amina allegedly confessed to having had a child while divorced. Pregnancy outside of marriage constitutes sufficient evidence for a woman to be convicted of adultery according to the new Shari'ah-based penal code for Muslims, introduced in Katsina State. The man named as the father of her baby girl reportedly denied having sex with her and his confession was enough for the charges against him to be discontinued. Amina did not have a lawyer during her first trial, when the judgement was passed. But she has now filed an appeal against her sentence with the help of a lawyer hired by a pool of Nigerian human rights and women's rights organisations.

The hearing of the appeal by the Shari'ah Court of Appeal of Funtua, Katsina State, was set for May 27, 2002 but adjourned twice, after her lawyer argued for an early hearing to take place instead of having the hearing postponed until next year as previously proposed by the court. Amina Lawal is still weaning her baby. Such a long adjournment of the case would have not served any useful purpose and would have deepened the climate of uncertainty created by the whole process. The terms of the bail have also been reviewed. Under these new terms for bail agreed by the court, Amina Lawal will no longer be reporting fortnightly to them. The only condition, however, is that Amina Lawal had to have a 'surety'.

On 8 July 2002, Amina Lawal made the submission of her appeal before the Shari'ah Court or Appeal of Funtua. The hearing of her appeal resumed on 5 August 2002 and the prosecutor presented his case and urged the court to maintain the sentence, death by stoning, passed by the Shari'ah court of Bakori. On August 19, Amina’s appeal was denied. She now has thirty days to make another appeal to the Supreme court in Abuja, the nation’s capital.

Go to the site and send an email off to the Nigerian ambassador. In fact, sign up for the newsletter. There's so much we can do, if we just invest a couple minutes here and there.

Warning: Design Ahead

As the first major undertaking of my office of "Technical Blog Sister Support", and at the behest of Jeneane and Elaine, I've done a little markup revising to give Blog Sisters a new look and more compliance with web standards, etc. This means that I will be changing the Blog Sisters template, and it will be looking pretty different by the time I'm done.

The day of the change is coming soon (rough estimate at this point: by the end of the week). If you'd like to offer your two cents before that happens, feel free to email me (Andrea). Hopefully this redesign should accomplish two things: to give the Blog Sisters web site a more distinct and unique appearance, and to make sure that it's relatively readable and visually consistent in all different kinds of web browsers, on all different kinds of computers.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog. :-)