Thursday, March 20, 2003

A grandma's question for young mothers

This is not the kind of issue I usually bring up here at Blog Sisters, but I need some input/advice/reassurance.

Have any of you done the "attachment parenting/co-sleeping/sleep-time ritual/baby-genius accoutrements" thing advocated by so many of the new books on baby-care and practiced by my daughter? I just don't remember caring for a baby being so complicated. I fed them when they were hungry and put them down to sleep when they got tired during the day. Sometimes I played with them and sometimes they amused themselves in their playpens. Bed-time rituals evolved according to what they seemed to need -- story time, lullabyes, stroking, etc. etc. while they lay in their cribs. I sometimes left them with baby-sitters and went out with my husband.

My daughter says she's read all the books and she knows what she's doing. Meanwhile, my grandson has a really hard time falling asleep and refuses to be separated from her (he's only 8 months and I understand that it's normal for him to have separation anxiety). She and her husband don't go anywhere; their lives revolve around the schedule she tries to set for the baby; she's tired and anxious and frustrated, and he's being a saint.

Have any of you young mothers gone through the same thing? If so, how long does it last? Do the kids eventually come through this and become independent self-calming sleepers and autonomous self-amusing kids?

She's pissed at me for suggesting that there are other less self-sacrificing ways to care for and nurture a baby. So, while my mouth is shut now, my mind is still wondering what experiences others have had using her modern baby-care methods. I figured that some of you modern mothers might be able to clue me in. I certainly am no longer going to butt in.

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