Monday, October 21, 2002

Well Endowed?

It seems to be my week to comment on biology and related topics. So forgive me, here I go on another rant.

Okay gents, I know this is a touchy subject. But it keeps coming up (*ahem*), and so I would like to spread a little light (where did you think I was going?) on the subject from a female perspective.

As reported by Reuters and called to my attention by boing boing:

On the heels of a previous report that debunked the notion that a man's shoe size could be used to estimate the length of his penis, a new study now claims that those with inquiring minds need merely take a gander at a man's forefinger...

Dr. Evangelos Spyropoulos and colleagues from the Naval and Veterans Hospital of Athens, Greece say they conducted their investigation to gather more information on the relationship between body measurements and male genitalia size. They argue that such information--as well as a clearer definition of "normal penile size"--will help doctors counsel and treat the many men who are concerned about perceived inadequacies relating to their genitals.

The "lack of standardized metric data and the absence of widely acceptable criteria on the proper size of the external genitalia poses major difficulties in the counseling and/or treatment of young adult men with worries of sexual inadequacy," the authors write.

Okay. So let me be as clear about this as possible.

Within reasonably normal parameters (let's say, a standard deviation), we women JUST DON'T CARE how long your penis is. There may be a certain occular thrill associated with length, but I'm here to tell you that it's trivial, temporary, and nothing to get yerself in a twist over. As it were.


(You knew there was going to be a "but," didn't you?)

If we care about your proportions at all, what we care about is girth. There are good anatomical reasons for this, the technical details of which I will spare you.


(Urrrk. That didn't come out quite right.)

Surely by now, you enlightened fellows you, you realize that anatomy is not destiny, right? You do realize that the "endowment" of the guy that all the girls whisper about to one another with misty eyes ultimately has nothing whatsoever to do with the meatpacking industry and everything to do with what's between his ears and in his heart, right? You know that it's about what he pays attention to, and how, and why, and what kind of attention, no? That's the gift that keeps on giving.

Granted, it would be easier for everybody if we could just say: Hoo-boy, that's a sure fire winner there, no question, let's get right on that!

Aren't you (admit it!) glad that's not the way it actually works?

Okay. So could we quit it with the size correlation articles already????

Cross-posted at both2and: beyond binary.

1 comment:

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