Monday, September 09, 2002

Let me explain

I guess I should have explained my point a little more. Like I said my son is only 21 months and at this age he is naturally attached to his mother. Especially when his father is hardly ever around and when he is around he tends to get very annoyed very quickly with Dalton. I am not going to allow my son to act like this forever. When he gets older--around 5 or so--I hope to enroll him into some self-defense classes such as karate or something of that nature. That way he can learn all the wonderful benefits of that art. But for right now, since he cannot talk I feel safe knowing that if a stranger touches him he can make a scene and get other peoples attention that hopefully would alert them and myself. He doesn't understand the difference between a stranger and a friend right now. As he gets older he will start to understand the difference between good strangers and bad strangers and right and wrong. I didn't mean to make it sound like my son is glued to my hip 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or that he is throwing a fit and biting everyone in sight. He's not. He just doesn't like complete strangers touching him and I do not try to make him think its okay for strangers to do that. When he recognize people he does allow them to pick him up and cuddle with him--if he wants them too. No one should do anything to you that you don't want them too. He is just very weary of strangers and happens to be very forceful when he shows it. At this age that's all he can do since he can't say "hey put me down." As he gets older I am sure he will replace the screaming and biting with , "No, don't touch me." I also don't just sit there and let Dalton throw a fit or anything and then say nothing about it. I am trying to teach my son to associate those fits with the words, "No, don't touch me please." And when people do try to pick him up he does say "No!" and shakes his head a lot of the times. Those people who still pick him up or touch him are the ones he bites. Just because he is a toddler doesn't mean he can't have a say in when someone touches him. My mother did the same thing with me and my 3 siblings and I don't believe any one of us turned out with anymore problems then everyone else. You teach different things at different stages of life. Right now my son cannot express his emotions physically so he does them physically. I believe that allowing my son to express his feelings the only way he knows how (physically) will help him to learn that its okay to feel how you feel and to express them when you feel them. Not to keep them bottled up inside. He is only 22 months--I still have a whole lifetime of lessons to teach him.

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