Tuesday, August 20, 2002

Weddings

That blog about the Star Wars wedding (still giggling over that one) made me think of a conversation my friend I had once. She is in a long term relationship with the love of her life. He doesn't want to get married until he has enough money to give her the wedding of her dreams. So of course I told her about my wedding that I planned in 48 hours and how smashing it was--actually it sucked but hey I still got married. Doug and I didn't plan on getting married until the beginning of 2000. We ended up getting married in May of 99. Heres what happen. Doug and I met in the army. I got out because of an injury and he stated in. Doug and I got engaged in Feb of 1999. Right away we started saving up money. Right after his AIT he went on leave for about a month. That's when we spent all that happy engaged couple time together (cheesy yeah I know). Well, in May he was supposed to report to his duty station in GA (we were staying at his parents house in FL). We just assumed that he would be able to live off post and yad yad yad. Well, the army said no. If he wasn't married he would have to live in the barracks. That means he wouldn't get extra food or extra housing money at all. The only way he could bring me with him and for us to be together is if I was his wife. So of course we got married. We had a hard time trying to find someone to marry us in the first place. And since Doug didn't have to leave for another 14 days I figured we had 2 weeks to plan this thing. Huh noooo. The only person that would marry us said he only had time to do it on May 27th. So with less then 48 hours to plan the wedding and only a little over 400 bucks in our wedding account I said screw it all.
I didn't stress over it. So I called all of Doug's friends and his relatives to tell them when the wedding would be and they were more then welcomed to come. I then called all my family and friends back in NC to let them know that I had to get married now not next year and that I am so sorry they couldn't be here with me. Wedding announcements and invitations--check. Luckily my in laws had a huge yard, booking the church--check. I then went through all of Doug's cloths and found that ironically enough we both had the same white dress shirt (only mine was sleeveless) and since we were in FL it would be perfect. Pair it off with a pair of jeans and we looked like one of those old cheesy married couples that always dresses alike. Groom's and Bride's cloths--check. My soon to be mother in law went out and got a couple of cake mixes and I made cup cakes with little rainbow sprinkles. Wedding cake--check. I told everyone that instead of getting us presents for our wedding just bring some food. I didn't care what it was--just anything you would bring to a normal everyday bar-b-que. Food--check. And that was it. I had to spend maybe 30 bucks for the whole thing. We used the rest of the money to buy stuff for our new house when we moved.
The point of this was I was trying to tell B. J. that you didn't need a whole lot of money to have a good wedding. That's when we came up with a theme about how weddings became this huge whoooppptyyydooo thing in the first place.
See, we decided that since, way back when, when a woman got married she well in a sense disappeared. She wasn't called my her first name anymore--she was Mrs. Whoever. She wasn't allowed to get a job or hang out with the girls anymore. She was just swallowed by her husband and her housework and rasing the children. Nobody seemed to care about her anymore--everything else was more important then a woman. She seemed to fade into the background I guess you could say.
So maybe that is why the woman seemed to want to have this one day where it was all about her. Where there was this huge party and she would be the center of attention. Its almost like she knew that hey no one is every going to noticed me again so why not be selfish just this one day.
Now that women are breaking out of that mold and are starting to well, become human beings again, weddings are getting smaller and smaller. Have you noticed that? Now a woman doesn't feel like she has to have this huge party, one last hoopla before she steps into the role of wife. Because she knows she is still going to be the same person rather she's married or not.
By the way--for those of you wondering--I got married and that's what mattered. My wedding itself turned out fine. Although Doug's older brother Pete and his family didn't come because it was a Mormon (Doug's family is Mormon and I am catholic) wedding and well they had church that night. They like to think they are righteous people when actually they just like to play the part when its convenient for them.
My soon to be mother in law didn't wear shoes--she wore overalls and socks--that's it. But hey at least my father in law buttoned his shirt. Thank heaven for the simple things huh. All in all it was a very humorous wedding which tends to describe our marriage. Not a day goes by where we don't laugh at something.