I don't know how many of you are mothers and I don't know how many of you have been through this but let me warn you--this story is not for the weak of stomach.
When I was living in GA I use to baby-sit the twins of a really good friend of mine. The twins were about to turn 3 years old. Now they had this habit of taking their diaper off and well playing with it. They would smear it on the walls and the windows and yes themselves. Of course being a new mother and my perfect little Dalton only being 5 months old at the time I was just shocked at how kids could do this--it just wasn't normal. Boy I couldn't have been any more wrong. (if that is incorrect grammar I am sorry and please forgive me Chris--I would hate to have the grammar bitch smash me).
Of course whenever the twins would leave a nice little surprise my friend would rant and rave and spank and yell and well just be a frustrated mother. Now keep in mind my poor friend had just moved to GA, she had few friends, her hubby was off in Kosovo and this had been happening everyday for months. She handled it a lot better then I would have if I had been in her shoes.
But the point of my story is this. I was so shocked that kids would do something like this--I mean come on its gross. So when my son starting doing the same thing a few months ago I was about ready to pull my hair out. At first I was angry--why would he do this, is it something I did? So of course I called my doctor and she assured me everything is just fine. This is a normal behavior for some kids. At that young age kids don't know that what comes out of your butt is bad. They don't understand that its gross and could possibly make you sick. All they know is that its squishy and you can "draw" with it. 99.9% of all kids grow out of this once they are potty trained and the only thing I could do was try to prevent it and if it does happen to try to explain to him that its a no-no.
So for the next two weeks I did everything I could think of to keep his diaper on his butt. I dressed him in everything from oneses to overalls to cloths that had no buttons on the bottom. I yelled at him, I pleaded with him, I tried to bribe him and yes, I am ashamed to say, I even spanked his little butt a few times. And yet everyday I still had a bucket and scrubber in hand to wash away his lovely art work. So I took the next logical step. I bought some duct tape. Yes, I said duct tape--a mothers best friend for stubborn toddlers. Now before I put him down for a nap or to sleep for the night I just slap some duct tape over the taps of his diaper and pray that he doesn't find a way around them. And so far it has worked like a dream.
Until today that is. Today was my husbands day off so of course he was the one to put Dalton to bed. And of course--being a man and all--he forgot to slap that good old duct tape on the diaper. Needless to say when I went to go get him up from his nap I was surprised with big blob of mess that turned out to be my little angel. At first I wanted to yell at him because it has been weeks since I had to pull out that handy bucket and scrubber. I had so much cleaning to do I didn't have time for this. But then I spied his diaper on the floor. No duct tape--not a bit of it anywhere. So now that the blame was totally on my hubby I couldn't help but to giggle. First--I wouldn't be cleaning up this mess, Doug would. And second I just found the perfect black mail picture. Yes, I said it--BLACKMAIL. Now I understand why so many parents carry around cameras. Its not to capture those unforgettable moments of their buddles of joy on film--its to capture those unbelivable ones to use against them when they get older and decided they dont want to do what mommy or daddy says. So I ran to get my camera before putting Dalton in an empty bathtub. With the light shinning right on him I snapped a few pictures before I spent the next 30 minutes trying to restore that wonderful baby smell that all kids seem to have.
So while the whole situation might not be to pleasant and completely frustrating at this time I know that 12 years from now when my son discovers the wonders of females I have a sure fire way to get him to take out the trash whenever I want.